Worker: You’re nothing but a freak in a blue suit.

Clark: Have a little paranoia with your coffee?

Lois: Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Lois: I was home eating chocolate . . . cottage cheese. Chocolate flavored cottage cheese.

Lois: A lot of people have tried to get me on a couch and after all this time, I don't think I'm going to start with a psychiatrist.

Woman: Are you nuts? Luthor was a lowlife, scum-sucking criminal. How could anybody . . . like . . . that . . . guy? Sorry, Lois.

Lois: Nobody knows me better than me. And believe me, I'm fine.
Clark: Oh, is that why you have all those candy bars in your desk drawer?
Lois: Those are for emergencies, in case I have some drastic drop in blood sugar level. And what were you doing in my drawers, anyway?

Lois: Who are these idiots?
Clark: Well, whoever they are, they were clever enough to create an acrostic.
Lois: A what?
Clark: An acrostic. It's a word or a message subliminally hidden in a series of lines. In this case, the first letter of each one of these words spells the word "stop."
Lois: Oh, well, they're still idiots.

Lois: Yeah, I'd like to meet the woman that said "I do" before I did . . . almost did . . . didn't.

Lois: But, my reporter's instinct says something's up. What does your instinct say?
Clark: My instincts say, never argue with a woman who's just been behind bars.

Lois: You still think I'm crazy?
Clark: I think you're brilliant. But there is a fine line between brilliance and lunacy.

Lois: Something like me?
Captain Keane: No much prettier and really built.

Lois: Wow, you look great. Little heavy on the eyeliner, I think.
Lois double: Sorry, but you're a little plain for me.
Lois: Plain? Sure beats whatever shopping channel convinced you that was a good look.
Lois double: Hey, you gotta look like a prissy, glorified typist, you gotta dress the part.
Lois: Well, my hair has a lot more bounce than this cheap wig.

Lois: And, guys, try not to let this place fall apart while I'm gone.
Perry: Yep, that's our Lois.
Clark: The genuine article.

Clark: He got . . . uh . . . 'tired'.

Jimmy: Looks like rush hour on the information superhighway.

Gretchen Kelly: But don't worry, you'll always have me.

Perry: Whatever happened to flowers and candy?
Jimmy: My mom's overweight and has allergies.

Lois: What’s that sound? When they remodeled this place they should have given out an instruction manual on this new stuff.
Co-worker: That’s a fax coming in over your new computer. They all have fax modem’s now.
Lois: Would’ve been nice if someone would have put out a memo.
Co-Worker: Well, they did. Check your email.
Lois: Nobody’s shown me how to retrieve my email!
Co-worker: Well, there’s a fax on your computer explaining it.

Clark: Sorry Chief, I was a little late getting in this morning I had a . . . I . . . I had a problem . . . dropped on me.

Detective: Lois Lane? Want to tell me where you were last night around 1:00 am?
Lois: Home asleep. Why?
Detective: Well, can anyone verify that?
Lois: Of course not! I sleep alone . . . by choice.

Lois: Thank you for bailing me out so fast. Another minute and I would have been judging a best tattoo contest.

Perry: Lois, I thought I told you to take the rest of the week off.
Lois: I’m through taking orders from you and I’m through with the Planet. Consider this my two weeks notice.

Lois: When did it go? Is it gone forever? I mean like socks! -- they go into the dryer, but they never come out!

Lenny Stoke: Well, well, well. You must be quite a pool player.

Superman: I like the lighting . . . makes them look . . . bigger.

Lois: Sorry if my ankle shattering annoys you . . .

Jimmy: Wow, first sound that can put a whole room to sleep.
Lois: No, I think Yanni did it first.

Perry: Now, Lois, don't you have anything to say to Clark?
Lois: Uh, right. Clark, I, uh, I'm very, uh . . .
Clark: Surprised?
Lois: Stunned, shocked, in need of oxygen.

Clark: Since we already went ahead and made plans, I was wondering if you'd like to go to the Kerth Awards?
Lois: You mean as your date?
Clark: I was gonna go as yours.
Lois: So, you want me to hang on your arm and smile and tell people how proud I am of my great big reporter man?
Clark: Sounds good to me. Lois, I'm kidding. You know, we'd have fun and since you already bought that dress . . .
Lois: I did not buy that address for the Awards. I bought that dress around the same time as the Awards. It was a coincidence. And, to tell you the truth, I didn't even like the stupid thing, and I'm returning it.
Clark: Lois, you're not upset because I got nominated . . .
Lois: That is ridiculous. We both did great stories. Mine destroyed an international drug network, and yours told the really searing truth about old people. And, and, I can't believe that. I mean there's gotta be some mistake. They lost my story, or their brains were taken over by aliens or something, because. . . . Oh, god, look at me. This is really pathetic, isn't it? I didn't know I could be this small. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Lois: Notice how I'm not getting mad about this? You know why? Because I'm a lot bigger than that (kicks a garbage can).

Perry: Son, I've seen her like this before. The doors are locked, the alarm's on, and you ain't gettin' in.

Lois: Clark, have I lost something?
Clark: Your fashion sense.

Clark: Lois, you're kinda babbling.
Lois: I know. See, I never babble.
Clark: Are you kidding? You're a brook.

Clark: What do you do, stay up nights memorizing maps?
Lois: So?

Lois: So, how did I rate as a date?
Clark: Oh, A-plus.
Lois: I hung on your arm decoratively.
Clark: You did.
Lois: Fawned appropriately.
Clark: Absolutely.
Lois: And just faded into the background during your big moment.
Clark: You were beautiful, yet invisible.
Lois: Mmm, make me go through another night like that, and I'll rip out your spleen.

Clark: Well, you must be excited.
Lois: I don’t know Clark, walking to work with you just isn’t the thrill it used to be.

Lois: The dinner’s always fun. Well, it will be a nice way for me to break in that new black dress I got. Did you get your tux yet?
Clark: The dinner’s just for nominees Lois.
Lois: And a date, you want to go?
Clark: Really? Yeah . . . sure.

Lois: Didn’t your mother teach you it’s rude not to share?

Jimmy: I got it at Spies-R-Us.

Superman: It ends here.
Lenny: How right you are.

Lois: He forked first!

Clark: Lois? What? Why are you dressed like this?
Lois: You’re too much competition for me Clark, so I’m chucking my career and becoming a groupie.

Lenny: This is your brain. This is your brain on sound.

Perry: Nice tattoo Lois.

Clark: The point is you are the same reporter you have always been. Hard-working. Dedicated. Maybe a little over the top sometimes. You could use some more vacations. Maybe a semblance of a life . . .
Lois: Is this leading anywhere?
Clark: Lois, you are the best reporter in the city. You always have been and you always will be.

Lenny: Mayor Sharp, I do hope your not trying to trace this call, because I’ve routed it through three islands, four oceans, and five continents. You’ll be drawing social security before you I.D. me.

Lenny: Oh, that’s wonderful. That lantern-jawed look of concern for human life . . . how Superman of you.

Superman: What’s this?
Lois: It’s a rose.
Superman: What’s this for?
Lois: Do I have to have a reason? [kisses him]
Superman: I guess not.

Lois: Excuse me, no cuts.
Little girl: Who are you?
Lois: Lois Lane, the reporter.
Little girl: Big deal. My mom signs your checks.
Lois: Well, that's no reason to be rude.
Little girl: Since when? Hey, you wanna race? Loser buys cotton candy.
Lois: Just cotton candy?
Little girl: On what you make, that's probably all you can afford.
Clark: Lois, come on, she's just a kid.
Lois: You're on. (later) My favorite flavor is pink.

Martha: I just hate it when he inhales his food.

Lois: A kick? It needs a kick? He's joking. He's a trainee, they do that.
Clark: Well, it couldn't hurt to try, Ms. Jefferson.
Lois: (Lois kicks the copier and looks at Clark). Maybe I'm kicking the wrong thing.

Superman: Lois, if anyone knows what it's like to be on the outside, I do. Sometimes I feel like I'm out there fighting all alone. Sometimes I feel like giving up. But, then I remember that what I stand for is more important than anything else. Your work is important to the people of Metropolis. You're a brilliant, passionate journalist. Adversity has never stopped you before. Don't let it start now.
Lois: That's funny. Clark said the same thing.
Superman: I'm not surprised. Clark is a very smart guy.

Clark: Lois, it's past babbling hour. Could you get to the point?

Lois: Our byline is gonna look great on a Pulitzer someday.
Clark: Yeah, but whose name is gonna go first?
Lois: Mine, of course.
Clark: It is great to have you back, partner.

Martha: We're on the edge of our seats, dear.

Lois: Mothership to Clark. Gee, imagine how interesting that wall would be if there were actually something on it!

Lois: Don’t play innocent with me . . . your mother told me where you went.

David: Hi, David Hansen . . . candidate for governor. Where are you folks from?
Jonathan: Smallville.
David: Ah, great community, great. If I’m elected I’ll work hard to make sure your town gets good jobs and quality education.
Martha: You might start with geography. We live in another state!

Perry: Real nice kid, millionaire by the time he was your age.
Jimmy: Yeah, well I had the mumps in sixth grade, kind of slowed me down.

Virotec guy: Did you know you can play over fifty songs with just three chords? G, C, and D.

Server: Lois Lane! Virotec just filled a libel suit against the Daily Planet and you in the amount of $20 million dollars. Consider yourself served.
Lois: What! Are you serious? Haven’t you ever heard of the first amendment?
Server: Listen, you're lucky we’re not prosecuting you for trespassing.
Lois: Oh, yeah? Well, wait till you get our bill for fixing your copy machine!

Perry: Lois, you gotta understand something . . . lawyers run this world.

Perry: Sometimes I hate this job.

Lois: I’ll miss you . . . partner.

Superman: Would you like me to help you clean up?

Lois: Gee . . . you even alphabetized it.

Lois: I’m sorry, I know you're asleep. I’m really sorry, but this can’t wait. I know you hate me now, but you’re going to love me in a minute.
Clark: I doubt that.

Superman: Need help?
Jonathan: He’s going to be okay Cla . . . Superman.

Lois: The trap is set? Hundreds will die? Poison gas? Does anyone else know about this?
Clark: Looooiss?
Lois: Clark relax, it’s just my exterminator.

Perry: Now, is this little trip just for fun or did you have a particular destination in mind?

Clark: I may be from Kansas, but I am not that corny.

Lois: Oh girl, get a grip!

Mr. Griffen: I'm "colon" you back.

Kyle: Okay, now you're going to use something you don't use everyday. It's called your mind.

Lois: I haven't been able to think of anyone who likes me enough to send me a. . . . I'm still working on it.

Lois: Well, that's a terrific reason to get married, to avoid harassment.

Lois: What'd ya open the door for?
Clark: I don't know. I thought maybe for a moment there, maybe. . . .
Lois: What? You were gonna stick your foot out and drag it along the street and stop the car?
Clark: (Shrug) Hmm.
Lois: You've been watching too many Flintstones cartoons.

Victor: If you don't mind my saying so, I think you have great legs. I think I read somewhere that intelligent men are leg-men. Only boobs are interested in, well, you know. Anyway, I think you have very shapely legs. They're like two perfectly-formed carrots.
Lois: Stop. You're embarrassing me.

Lois (after kicking Kyle): You're right, Victor, I do have great legs.

Superman: Well, I guess you don't need me.
Lois: Not this time, but don't go anywhere.

Bomb Squad Guy: So - if you get the urge to stand up and do a jig, fight it.

Lois: I had the strangest dream last night.
Clark: Maybe it was the pizza.
Lois: I don't think so. I was working in a nightclub as a waitress and Griffen was the bartender and all of sudden he's trying to shove me in the blender and I'm screaming, 'But we don't serve blended drinks here.'
Clark: Let's hope it was the pizza.

Lois: Clark, you just don’t understand romance.

Ronnie: Lois? I didn’t recognize you. You look so . . . mature.

Ronnie: I’m glad to see that you’ve found yourself a good man. In college I seem to remember Lois always on the prowl, but she never could hook up with the right guy. I hope it works out for you two.
Clark: Thank you.
Lois: Let’s go.

Clark: So, you were on the prowl in college?
Lois: That man has a very faulty memory. And did you see her nails? Obviously press on.
Clark: I wasn’t really focusing on her nails, Lois.

Victor: How did your meeting go with the terrorists?
Prankster: Don’t ever call them that! They like to be called ‘freedom fighters’.

Prankster: Booooriing!

Superman: You all right?
Lois: Yeah, for someone who just saw their life flash before their eyes.

Lois: Promise me you’ll tell me how you do that?

Jimmy: Oh, I sure wish somebody would yell out ‘Copy boy’ right about now.

Lois: You know, it’s true what they say. Love stinks.

Lois: Well, I think we’ve finally found the absolute bottom of Metropolis.
Clark: Why is it that the guys who call in with tips always live in the worst part of town?
Lois: What do you think the brochure on this place would say? Exquisite alley view, complimentary roaches on your pillow?

Lou: I've got everything a man could want. A TV, my bed, and oh look! A raison left over from lunch!

Lois: And you are . . .? Not very nice.

Clark: Nothin’ but net.

Lois: Griffin called me.
Clark: What! What did he say?
Lois: Oh, the usual. Lois, hi how are you? Long time no see. I’m going to kill you.

Lois: Clark, I don’t want to die.
Clark: Lois, I would not let that happen.

Prankster: Give me that box. I’ll give you the babe.

Jimmy: How could you see that from all the way over there?
Clark: I have a . . . really strong prescription.

Superman: Well, I guess you don’t need me?
Lois: Not this time, but don’t leave town.

Lois: 'From a special friend.' A final sick joke from Kyle Griffin.
Clark: Lois, wait! No, no. Those roses cost me fifty bucks.
Lois: Oh! Sorry . . .

Mayson: Funny, he's a lot shorter in person than you'd think.

Perry: Do you know what a man needs at a time like this?
Jimmy: A baseball bat and an alibi?

Jonathan: Nobody's perfect son. How about a piece of pie?

Martha: Freud would say it's a subconcious desire in search of a context and Jung would dismiss it as an anger induced synaptic anomaly.

Perry: See, love is tricky. You've got to think of it like a jungle river -- exotic, treacherous, beautiful but uncharted. Reach up to grab a mango off a tree and you're just as likely to get your arm ripped off by a jaguar.

Lois: I'll tell you what's different. When Snell bats his eyes, you don't get quite so giddy.
Clark: Are you jealous?
Lois: What! No, I'm not jealous. We're friends and partners, and whatever you do in your own time is . . .
Clark: Yeah?
Lois: Whatever you do.

Jonathan: Adult education. It's a beautiful thing.

Clark: Mayson likes me, Clark, but she hates Superman. Which is kinda confusing because Lois loves Superman but only likes Clark. Mayson likes Clark, but in a different way than Lois, and
Mayson hates Superman in a way that's different from anybody.
Martha: Oh, Clark, I've been afraid something like this was going to happen.
Clark: What?
Martha: You're beginning to talk about yourself in the third person.

Jonathan: Martha, the boy has two gorgeous women running after him. This does not rate high on the list of world problems.
Clark: That's true, but let's not forget that Mayson may be an agent of Intergang.
Jonathan: Well, nobody's perfect, son. How about a piece of pie?

Lois: Perry, Clark is my best friend, and I don't want to lose him.

Clark: I shouldn't have lost my temper.
Lois: Well, you're entitled to. I lose mine once every . . . what?
Clark: Three, four minutes.

Clark: I have to go.
Lois: Where?
Clark: You guys stay here, it won’t take long.
Lois: What won’t take long?
Clark: The thing that I have to do in the place that I’ll be back from in just one second.
Mayson: Does he do that a lot?
Lois: Constantly.

Perry: I must warn you. I dip suddenly, and I dip deeply.

Lois: Mayson's not really so bad. She's a little pushy, but she's obviously so desperate, who can blame her? I think what you said is right. No matter what happens, I'll never lose Clark.

Superman: This isn't dancing.
Lois: It's not?
Superman: This is.

Martin Snell: You flash cape in that part of town and you're looking at an all expenses paid education in bereavement.

Lois: You'd better get some water on that - dab, don't wipe.

Perry: Superman - did you just save me from something?
Superman: Uh huh.
Perry: Do I want to know what it was?
Superman: Uh uh.

Baby Rage: You just stepped over the line man. You’re going down!
Superman: You’re the only one going anywhere and I hope for your sake you don’t mind showering in groups.

Mayson: Call my office in the morning so we can arrange a deposition. And . . . if you need to reach me during off hours . . . my home phone’s on the back.
Clark: Thank you.
Lois: Subtle.

Clark: Oh, you’ve got that I-have-a-plan look in your eyes.

Snell: Superman. I’m contacting you on a hypersonic frequency that only you and a few bats can hear.

Superman: Have I done something to offend you?
Mayson: Do you have a license to chase criminals? Do you ever read them their rights? If you hurt someone, are you insured? Where do you live? Do you have a job? Who are you?
Superman: I can’t tell you that.
Mayson: Exactly!

Superman: This is just not my day.

Mayson: Um . . . I was in the neigHarlan Blackorhood and thought . . . we could go over some facts?
Clark: Sure, come on in. Let me throw a shirt on really quick.
Mayson: No! Um . . . I mean . . . ah . . . that’s all right . . . I mean . . . if it would make you feel uncomfortable . . . because it’s . . . um . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . yeah, um . . . it’s very warm in here.

Mayson: Look, I know he’s a friend of yours and I know he’s done a lot of great things, but you’re ten times the man he is. You’re an ordinary guy.

Mayson: Um . . . would you like to have lunch?
Clark: To discuss the case?
Mayson: No.
Clark: Oh. Yeah. Lunch would be good.

Clark: Jeez . . . this is just not my week.

Lois: Nice get!

Superman: Now stop 'bugging' people.

Lois: Would you like to dance?
Superman: That sounds nice.

Clark: Would that be 'click' with one exclamation point or two?

Lois: Well, I like my quirks. I think they make me unique.
Clark: You certainly are unique.

Superman: Let's see . . . satellite hijacking, attempted murder, terrorism, and oh yes - speeding! I'm going to have to take you boys in. This is not going to look good come promotion time.

Lois: What am I gonna say to her? Your boyfriend's back? We think he's starting trouble? Hey-la, Day-la?

Lois: I suppose you've kept in touch with all your college friends?
Clark: Well, yeah.
Lois: Well, sure. That's easy when you go to Smallville U, with a graduating class of ten farmers and a cow.
Clark: Just hate losin' those arguments, don't ya?

Molly: Same old Lois. Still can't admit you don't know everything.
Lois: That's not true. Is it Clark?
(Silence)

Molly: Now this one is supposed to slow down the aging process by calming the organs of the body. You might consider trying some, Lois.

Clark: "To Stretch, no one swings like you do. Love, Teddy." Stretch?
Lois: We were in gymnastics together. He was trying to be cute.
Clark: Stretch. I like it.
Lois: And it's the last time you'll use it.

Perry: Well, sure. I could get to Paris if I wanted to. Unfortunately, I'd have to talk to the French.

Lois: So, an old friend tried to kill me. These things happen. . . . Okay, they happen to me.

Lois: Well, you don't have to get snippy with me. I am not the one who dated a psycho.
Molly: Lois, in what may be our last minutes on Earth, is this really what you want to talk about?
Lois: Well, yes, for once, I would like it if you would agree with me about Ryan.
Molly: Look, he was cute, we had a lot of common interests, we fell in love. How was I supposed to know he was going to turn out to be a psycho?
Lois: Ha! So you admit it?
Molly: All right, I admit it. But we're still gonna die, so what good does it do?
Lois: Well, I feel a little better.
Molly: Great.

Perry: Is this ready?
Lois: Well, let's just say that’s as good as it’s gonna get. I can’t believe how much I use my spell check.

Lois: That one’s kind of blurry. Jimmy is this the best we’ve have?
Jimmy: Yeah, I’m sorry, my finger froze on the shutter. That happens when you're being shot at.

Lois: Tell me one technological advancement that you would be willing to live without?
Clark: How about cable television? Oh, wait a minute, you said ‘advancement’ didn’t you?
Lois: What is wrong with cable? We're talking about five hundred channels that open up a world of possibilities.
Clark: Including the possibility you may never again speak to another human being.
Lois: I’m going to fax the order for pizza. You want something?
Clark: How about a delivery person who’s interested in my opinions?

New Age Guy: Hey, what are you doing? We’re chanting here.

Clark: There’s nothing much here . . . yogurt, tofu, a couple of bottles of Golden Springs Beer [Lois grabs a bottle] Gee, Lois, if you're thirsty all you had to is say something . . .

Perry: You’re going through technology withdrawal now aren’t you?

Clark: People can have two sides to their personalities. Lois, believe me, I know.

Perry: I worry when she gets that look in her eye.

Clark: You stole a jeep?
Lois: I didn’t steal it. I’m returning it to the base. Here, put these on.
Clark: Where did you get these . . . forget it, I don’t even want to know.

Lois: Notice how I didn’t say anything about myself?
Clark: Yeah, I did.
Lois: But you could.
Clark: Yeah, I could . . .

Lois (referring to a picture of Superman): It came with the wallet.

Clyde: You guys think I'm afraid of Hoover?
Jimmy: What would a vacuum cleaner company want with them?

Detective Wolf: By the way, you're my first homicide case that ever solved itself - thanks!

Lois: In one lousy second, I lost my partner and my best friend. He died without knowing. I never told him.

Clark: I wish I could be there for her.

Clark: Dad, Superman doesn't work at the Daily Planet. He doesn't go to ball games with Jimmy and Perry. He doesn't listen to Lois go off on some weird tangent and secretly love it.

Lois: Hollywood's created a dozen versions of Frankenstein, and you still didn't get the point.

Lois: I know our relationship has always been difficult to define, but, when I thought about how much I missed you, how much I was going to miss you for the rest of my life, well, I started to think, maybe there's more to our relationship than just friendship. (Seeing him asleep). Or, maybe not.

Bonnie: Now that's a pretty forward question for a man that won't show me his underwear . . .

Jimmy: Gangsters, you know? Cement shoes, sleeps with the fishes, that sort of thing.

Lois: 'Swordfish?'
Bouncer: I saw that Marx Brothers movie too, lady.

Sammy: Whoa! You carry a picture of Superman in your purse?
Lois: Well . . . no, um . . . I mean . . . yes.

Perry: Son, I may have gray hair, but that’s from my job.

Clyde: I thing I’m going to like the Nineties.

Perry: Jimmy, go splash some cold water on your face.

Perry: Well, go see what you can dig up. That car was a piece of this paper’s history. It belonged to one of our great publishers . . . but more importantly, it’s NOT insured!

Sammy: A babe with a face like yours should be in show business.

Lois: Superman! What are you doing here?
Sammy: Ha, ha. I love it, I love it . . . gets them every time. Folks, say hello to . . . Barry!
Lois: He’s a look alike?
Barry: How ya doing? Hey, lady, don’t ask me to fly out no windows, okay.

Superman: Aren’t you boys a little late for Halloween?
Clyde: Look who’s talking.

Bonnie: Oh, my. He is one hunk of a man!

JD: Yup. We’ve got a pretty sweet future in this town, so long as we don’t keep running into this clown in the blue tights.
Bonnie: We . . . I’d be happy to keep him occupied anytime . . .

Perry: Great shades of Elvis! They’re coming out of the woodwork!

BB: And this regenerated Al Capone character? Not a big fan of the no smoking laws?

Clark: Lois, we’re here to work.
Lois: Just a few more nickels, I’m just getting warmed up.

Daily Planet: Reporter killed in line of duty.

Lois: He died trying to protect me. In one lousy second I lost my partner . . . and my best friend.

Al Capone: The morals of this country have absolutely gone to pot.

Superman: I have been known to miss . . . on occasion.

Lois: Clark! You’re alive? How is this possible?
Clark: Superman found me after they dumped my body. Then he froze me with his superbreath to preserve my tissue, then took me to Dr. Hamilton’s lab, then followed the procedures in his manuscript.
Lois: Oh, Clark. I don’t care if he used crazy glue, you’re back!

Lois: I didn't know that daisies, carnations, and baby's breath were rainforest kind of plants.

Webster: And didn't anybody ever tell you that two primary colors just do not work together?

Lois: Listen, if you can remember that name, I'll try and talk Clark here into letting you tattoo the Battle of Midway on his chest.

Lois: We need to talk to Superman, and the only way I can ever get his attention is to fall out a window, which I'd rather not do right now, or tell you. So, here I am.
Clark: You know, I'll be right back. I forgot my mail downstairs.
Lois: Clark, this is important. You can get your mail later.
Clark: Yeah, but I'm expecting my, uh, . . . cheese-of-the-month shipment. I'll be right back.

Dr. Kelly: Maybe you'd like your teeth rearranged?
Lois: You can try, Brunhilda.

Lois: Well, I'm not a philosopher. I'm a reporter.
Superman: And a human being. Which is more important to you?

Lois: Everything is fine . . . Except, I'm in a cage, in a bunker, underneath a mausoleum, in a cemetery, nobody knows I'm here except a bunch of very strange people.

Allegra Vennim: Names? You want me to remember names?

Resplendant Man: All I know is that one minute I was a 90 pound weakling, the next minute I was a 90 pound Hercules.

Voiceover on television: Call 1-900-Res-Q-U to reach Resplendant Man, strange visitor from the heart of Dixie.

Wally Waldecker: That brings up another point, where do you carry things like money in that outfit?

Lois: Don’t you care what happened to Lex?
Clark: Well . . . actually . . .

Clark: It’s a guard.
Lois: Clark, I don’t see anybody and I have better eye sight than you. You wear glasses.

Wally: And with getting that very bad financial advice about how biodegradable golf clubs were going to be the wave of the future and I needed to get in on the ground floor . . .

Lois: What! It’s a bill. He’s charging me $32.50. ‘Small price to pay for being sucked from the snapping jaws of certain death.'

Lois: Are you from Krypton too?
Wally: Oh, no ma’am. I’m from Tennessee.

Wally: You can be my girlfriend.

Lois: This is Clark Kent and my colleauge.
Clark: And friend.
Lois: And friend.
Wally: How good a friend?
Lois: Good friend, very good friend.
Clark: Very good friend. Uh, nothing romantic or anything like that.
Wally: Well, you keep on looking. One of these days you going to find somebody. You’re a handsome boy. Though I personally would suggest getting rid of the glasses, get contacts.

Clark: I’m sure you’ll be happy together.
Lois: Bite your tongue.

Lois: So after going to sixteen tattoo parlors, only now they call them Dermal Emporiums, I finally found somebody who recognized that tattoo on him as the work of a ‘Dermal Artist’ named Alegra Vennum . . . I’m not making this up.

Lois: Do you have backup?
Alegra: That was the back up.

Lois: He’s got one sister living in an institution.
Perry: What kind of institution?
Lois: For . . . uh . . . people who are . . . Challenged by reality.

Lois: Well, I’m not a philosopher.

Gretchen: Shut up! You just shut up or die.

Lois: Lex?
Gretchen: Yes, this is Lex Luthor the last real man in Metropolis.

Gretchen: You and what army?

Lois: But Superman was right.
Clark: Yeah, it’s one of his more irritating qualities.

Lois: What kind of person keeps a body frozen in a glass case?
Clark: Somebody who’s having a hard time getting a date?

Superman: I'd like to have a talk about right and wrong.
Resplendant Man: Well, OK, if you think you know that much more about it than I do.

Superman: I have tried to be patient; I have tried to be understanding. You will take this to heart. You will memorize it; you will live it. The strong do not exploit the weak; the powerful do not attack the defenseless, and you DO NOT use your x-ray to spy on women in locker rooms.
Resplendant Man: Oh, puh-lease! What planet are you from? Try to grasp this. It's not really a hard concept. You may not like what I do, but there's not a blessed thing you can do about it.

Superman: Don't you ever think of anyone besides yourself?
Resplendant Man: I don't want to hear anymore of your carping and complaining.
Superman: Well, you are going to listen, until it sinks in. Your behavior is unacceptable.

Martha: Am I going to have to spank you?

Perry: Lois! Give me those rats! Lois . . . All right, now go back to your desk.
Lois: Gee, that's really fair.
Clark: Can I have a rat, chief, can I, huh, please?!
Perry: Clark, do you want me to send you to the dark room?
Clark: Dark room?
Perry: You heard me!
Clark: Um, no.
Perry: Well, settle down, go back to your desk.

Clark: I told you guys, you should have been quiet!
Lois: Clark, you're not the boss of us.

Lois: Hello. Lucy? It's Lois. I just wanted to let you know that you are not invited to my Christmas dinner tomorrow night. . . . Well, because all of the food I'm going to buy is mine, and I'm not sharing.

Perry: I don't know, Alice. I don't know if I want to spend some dumb, drippy, kissy face Christmas. Uh, I uh...I wanna go to Graceland.

Martha: I never spanked you. I never had to. But right now, I'd like to drop your britches and tan your hide like cheap leather.

Lois: Wow! Cool! Superman, you wanna play?

Lois: You are going to get stuffed! I made a turkey and yams and cranberries and stuffing. Did you know that you have to make the stuffing? It doesn’t come in the bird.

Lois: Little heavy on the read and green don't you think?
Jimmy: Why? don't you like it?
Lois: Do I have a choice?
Jimmy: Excuse me?
Lois: It's just that it's everywhere. Ribbons and wreathes and mistletoe and trees and santas and elves and Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, pounding you in the face over and over, 'You must love Christmas! You must love Christmas! You must love Christmas!!'
Jimmy: I guess this means we won't be caroling tonight?

Clark: Christmas is always the biggest party in Smallville!

Clark: Are you comparing Christmas to Arbor day?

Shott: The rats make the children greedy.

Lois: Dr. Sam Lane please . . . his daughter . . . Lois!

Lois: Wow, you’re in love? . . . Christmas in Venice? How romantic . . . oh, Venice, California. So he’s either an artist or an actor. Well, good luck, you’re going to need it.

Lois: Doesn’t anybody like teddy bears anymore?

Co-worker: I want that!
Lois: Sorry, I had it first.
Co-worker: Well, possession is 9/10 of the law.
Lois: I had it first.
Co-worker: Did not.
Lois: Did so!

Shott: All right, onto step two of the plan.
Duffy: Step two? There’s a step two?

Clark: Lois, can I just see one?
Lois: Nope. They’re my rats.
Clark: Lois, it was kind of funny in the lobby, less funny in the cab, now it’s getting old.

Clark: Ah! That smells terrible.
Jimmy: Awful.
Clark: I like it.
Jimmy: Me too.

Perry: Lois, are those squares in magic marker?
Lois: Well . . . umm . . .
Clark: Ohhhh! Lois is in trouble, Lois is in trouble . . .
Lois: Well, I have all the rats, and you don't have any.
>Perry: Hey, Hey! That’s enough. Now I don’t know what you all have got going on here, but obviously we all need a vacation a little bit more than I thought.

Martha: Clark Jerome Kent! You get over here right now!

News reporter: So tell us Chad, are we going to have a white Christmas this year?
Weatherman: I want more money.
News reporter: Pardon?
Weatherman: I’m not going to tell them it’s going to snow unless I get a big raise . . .

Lois: Well, you two are invited to my house for Christmas dinner tonight.
Perry: Well that sure beats the soup kitchen.
Lois: Don’t get your hopes too high, Chief.

Shott: Mrs. Duffy? Mrs. Duffy? I have a surprise.
Lois: So do we. You’re busted, Merry Christmas.

Lois: Clark! You came. Why aren’t you in Smallville with your folks?
Clark: Oh, uh . . . my plane got snowed in.
Lois: It’s not snowing . . . Oh! You are the best!

Jimmy: I'm not exactly Stallone.
Lois: Who?

Superman: I think you two are very lucky to have each other.

Lois: Hey, what happened to you? You've been gone two hours. Where's my yogurt?
Clark: Oh, right, yogurt. Remember how you said to surprise you?
Lois: Yeah.
Clark: Well, I didn't bring you anything. Ha! Surprise!

Lois: And you think I'm fat, don't you?
Clark: What?
Lois: That's why you didn't bring me any yogurt. You think I'm fat.
Clark: Lois, believe me, I do not think you're fat. I just thought, you know, it might be funny to not bring you anything. Ha!
Lois: Oh. Some of that cutting-edge, Smallville humor?

Lucy: I mean, why don't you just fold his rap sheet into an airplane and throw it at my head?
Lois: I've never been good at those planes.

Lois: Here's some oatmeal if you want.
Clark: Did you make it?
Lois: Yeah. You probably don't believe that.
(He looks at the drippy oatmeal).
Clark: No, I believe it.

Mrs. Vale: The jerk couldn't do anything unless a mechanical device was involved. And I mean anything.

Lois: Does he think that because he couldn't defeat some robot that that changes the way I feel about him? Clark, that's not what attracts me. It's his intelligence and caring. He's . . . he has integrity and an innate goodness. I mean, he's a lot like you.

Lucy: I can't believe my intuition about men can be so far off.
Lois: Yeah, well, it's sort of a family trait.

Clark: Maybe it's just animal magnetism.
Lois: That's fine, in a zoo.

Lois: Clark, my sister is dating a mono-syllabic, illiterate goon!

Clark: Excuse me, miss, but this is the no eavesdropping section.

Clark: You know, what do they call a guy who's happy with his job, a gruntled employee?

Lois: Don’t expect me to be rational!

Policeman: I’ve got a kid going through his terrible two’s that doesn’t make this much damage.

Lucy: How was everything?
Lois: Well, the service was kind of slow, but aside from that . . .
Lucy: Oh, well I’m sorry. In that case, dessert's on me. That and your senior citizen discount should make up for it.

Emmet: We’ll just put the word out on the street that we need a donor.
Rollie: Emmet, we’re scientists, we don’t know anybody ‘on the street.'

Lois: How long is Luthor going to haunt Metropolis?

Rollie: Oh, great! A robot with a temper.

Jason: Do I run on batteries?

Clark: Let me guess, it backfired on you?
Lois: It didn’t backfire . . . it’s a work in progress.

Rollie: You minibrained metallic moron!

Clark: Lucy need help?
Lois: She’s ducking me. I left messages for her everywhere. She can be very pig headed. And no, it does not run in the family!

Superman: Lois, I want you to know that I think what you did for Clark showed incredible bravery.
Lois: It was nothing.
Superman: Was it?
Lois: I guess not. I guess there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him.

Lois: Nobody's perfect - you're a good dresser but a lousy human being.

Lois: A mild-mannered reporter really a super hero? Clark, puh-leeze!

Lois: Hey, nice shirt - you look good in pink!

Lois: Good thing - if my heart was in my head I wouldn't have room for my brain.

Lois: Oh . . . what a DAY this has been! And what a rare mood I'm in.
Jonathon: Oh, hi Lois. How are you? You look a little tense.
Lois: We're investigating this story at the Metropolis Men's Club. When Clark and I get there, they won't let me in.
Martha: Why ever not?
Lois: Because I'm a woman. And at your friend Chen's I find out I can't take a Yi Chi class . . . because I'm a woman.
Martha: Oh, that's awful!
Jonathon: Still, you can understand why it's like that.
Clark: Aaa, Dad . . .
Jonathon: No, I'm talking about the Men's Club part. Because you know after a hard day a man likes some time alone with his buddies.
Lois: A hard day? So you're saying men endure intrinsically harder days then women?
Jonathon: Well, now...Lois. Tell her what I mean Martha.
Martha: No, Jonathon...you tell me. What are you saying?
Jonathon: What I'm saying is MEN WORK . . . and women work, of course . . . ah and ah . . . Clark, help me out, huh.
Clark: I know NOTHING . . . excuse me . . . thank you.
Martha: So, you'd be willing to switch jobs with me then say for the next 3 days while we're here in Metropolis?
Jonathon: Okay, for the next 3 days, I'll do your chores, you do mine.
Martha: Deal . . . my "to-do" list.

Guard: Typical.
Lois: Excuse me?
Clark: Lois, he's just trying to provoke you.
Lois: Are you implying something?
Clark: He's obviously doing a great job.
Lois: That women are volatile and unstable, prone to emotional outbursts? Well, let me tell you something. At least we don't form organizations the sole purpose of which is to hide from the opposite sex.
Clark: I'm going to get a hot dog.

Lois: He threw Superman around like a ragdoll and then disappeared.
Clark: I wouldn't say like a ragdoll.

Lois: Excuse me, Lois Lane, here. Remember me? Award-winning investigative reporter, emphasis on investigative, specializing in covert break-ins.
Perry: Lois, you may not go on this mission.
Lois: Well, what am I supposed to do, sit here knitting waiting for the hunter-gatherers to return?
Perry: Clark, explain it to her, will you?
Clark: Chief, have you heard the expression "pulling a Schultz?"
Perry: Ah, Hogan's Heroes. I know nothzing.
Clark: I see nothzing.
Perry: I hear nothzing.

Perry: Hey, what the hell you lookin' at? It's a girl. Hey, it's . . . . Lois, tell him you're a girl.
Lois: Chief, people are gonna see what they wanna see.

Lois: I'm sorry, Lynn, I don't know how to call him. I mean, he usually just shows up when I need him.
(Superman swoops down).
Superman: And I always will.

Martha: But, personally, I'd order from the Szechwan Palace. Now, the House of Hunan is great, but all this garlic just gives me gas.
Clark: Mom, I've got company here.
Martha: Oh, I'm sorry, she's family.

Lois: Get your own damn coffee!

Lois: You made $15,000 dollars last week and we’re paying for you parking?

Guard: I’m sorry ma’am, you’re going to have to wait here.
Lois: What!
Guard: Well, it’s a Gentleman’s club.
Lois: Well, I’m a reporter on a story. Excuse me.
Guard: I’m sorry ma’am.
Lois: Will you let go of my arm, please?
Guard: Would you get off the step, please?

Lois: Maybe the news hasn’t penetrated these thick walls, but you know women have the vote now.

Lois: How do you know Clark?
Chen: We go to the same optometrist.

Clark: It’s just not your day with door men.

Harlan Black: A dead Superman. Do you know what that is? Good for business.

Perry: Sounds like something out of the middle ages.
Lois: Kind of like a men’s club?

Jimmy: I’m just quoting the Wall Street Journal.

Clark: Lois, we flipped a coin. You lost.

Jimmy: If only it was real money.

Perry: I invented the word ‘hot-shot.'

Clark: Lois?
Perry: Oh boy, she’s gone around the bend.

Jimmy: Guilt. The Kung Fu of emotion.

Harlan Black: 11:00 good. I like my Superhero’s to be punctual.

Superman: Don’t say I didn’t ask nicely.

Jonathan: Martha . . . do I really just sit around and play checkers?
Martha: No . . . sometimes you watch football.

Superman: Lois?
Lois: Over here.
Superman: Do you have any oolong tea?
Lois: No. Do you want some?
Superman: If it wouldn't be too much trouble.
Martha: Oolong sounds wonderful.
Jonathan: Eh, Lois, let's you and me go get these tea drinkers some oolong.
Lois: Superman...?
Superman: Everything's fine Lois. I just want some oolong, really.

Lois: Babe. Would you two use some other word besides babe? I don't think she is such a babe anyway.

Mayson: How's he going to get where he's going if he can't see where he's going?

Jimmy: Secret of the universe yanked out from under me like a cheap rug . . .

Perry: It's not Clark's style to go chasin' out after some babe.

Superman: I really do believe that we're all put here on this earth, or whatever planet we're put on, to do better than we think we can. To be kind, helpful, generous, and forgiving.

Jimmy: Lois, have you seen Clark? I need to talk to him.
Lois: You could talk to me.
Jimmy: Well, it’s sort of a guy thing.
Lois: Well, if it’s a guy thing it means it’s about prostate trouble or women, and you’re too young for prostate trouble, so that means you probably want to talk to Clark about women. I say if you want to know something, you should go to the source.

Lois: And correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m reasonably sure my lips are moving, am I in a vacuum, is there any sound coming out, can you tell me who the dead guy is!

Lois: Bulgaria adopted the gold standard in 1897.

Clark: According to this, there are only about eight people who are capable to understand Dr. Faraday’s theories, and I can tell you this right now, Lois, I am not one of them.

Perry: See, excuses . . . some times I thing my name is ‘Perrybut’. "Oh, I tried, Perrybut." "Oh, I’m sorry, Perrybut." "I wish, Perrybut..."

Superman: Lois, when I said I like my bacon crisp, I didn’t mean . . .
Lois: Ooh!

Lois: Alternating current is more deadly then direct current.

Lois: I have some pop tarts.

Lois: The Pacific jellyfish is the most dangerous fish in the ocean.

Perry: Lois, where’s Clark?
Lois: I don’t know.
Perry: Well, you're his partner aren’t you?
Lois: Yes, I’m his partner, not his keeper.
Perry: Oh, you two fighting again?
Lois: Clark and I don’t fight. We disagree sometimes.

Lois: If a spinning wheel is geared internally with a pinion, the wheel’s rotate in the same direction.

Superman: Lois, are you okay?
Lois: Superman. I’m okay . . . No, I’m not. I’m mad! I'm furious! It’s always the same thing. Where’s Clark Kent when anybody needs him?

Perry: I thought Clark was a bigger man than that.

Perry: When you let a women do the chasing, the next thing you know, you’re buying a tux and walking down the aisle.

Lois: You tell me what I want to know, and I will tell you what you want to know.

Superman: Is this the good window?

Leit: No more mister nice guy.

Lois: In bodies of uniform density the position of the center of gravity depends on the shape of the body.

Lois: Clark . . . If you weren’t with Mayson, where have you been the last three days?
Clark: Umm . . .

Clark: Well, God knows everything, and attorneys seem to think they're God.

Clark: Why do you suppose someone would kidnap Bender?
Lois: Can't be for money. Who would pay ransom for a lawyer?

Jimmy: It's okay guys! I'm not the principal.

Lois: It's a big deal, we work together. What happens if, you know, it bombs?
Clark: We'll always be friends.

Perry: Are you telling me that I was just some kinda diversionary tactic?
Jimmy: Kind of cheapens it somehow, doesn't it?

Jimmy: You know, I think that's the first time I've ever heard them agree on anything.
Perry: Yeah, well, a budding romance will do that for you.
Jimmy: How did you know that?
Perry: Jimmy, I did not become editor of a major newspaper because I can yodel.

Superman: Suicide is the cowards way out.

Perry: Now what in the blazes is a Bobby Bigmouth?

Lois: What?
Jimmy: Nothing. I didn't say nothing.

Rollie Vale: Forget to bring your hair with you when you came back from the dead?

Gretchen Kelly: You married him and destroyed him all in the same day.

Clark: Ah, Lois, I wanna ask you something.
Lois: Oooo, I'm not going to like it, am I?
Clark: What makes you say that?
Lois: You got that tone in your voice. You know when people are uncomfortable . . . like when they wanna borrow your car or money . . . your clothes.
Clark: Ah, okay, you got me. I wanna borrow your clothes.
Lois: I bet you'd look real cute in black chiffon.
Clark: What I wanna say is a...
Lois: I know what you want Clark.
Clark: You do?
Lois: I know you a lot better than you think. How much do you need?
Clark: What?! No, I don't want money Lois.
Lois: Clark, you don't have to be embarrassed. That's what friends are for. Just tell me how much.
Clark: Lois, I want you to go out with me!
Lois: What? You're asking me out?
Clark: Yeah, you know...like, on a date.
Lois: A date. You mean like a real date? Where I take out my good perfume the one that I got after I saw "Love Affair" the good one not the remake and I put a dab behind my knee and I don't even know why?
Clark: Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying.
Lois: Well that's . . . well, I . . . I just don't know what to say.
Clark: Well, most people either choose "yes" or "no".
Lois: Well, it's not that easy, I mean it's easy for you because you've had time to think about it. You've had time to plan what you're gonna say and what you're gonna say depending on what I say back to you.
Clark: Lois, I'm just trying to ask you out. I'm not trying to negotiate a nuclear arms treaty.

Bobby Bigmouth: So you two excited?
Clark: Bobby, we didn't come here to talk about . . .
Bobby: I want you to know how happy I am for you and that there are a lot of people out there that are really pulling for this to work out.
Lois: What people?
Bobby: What, you think it's a big secret that Clark here has been mooning over you?
Clark: Well, I wouldn't say mooning exactly . . . I . . .

Clark (talking about the elevator): Ahh, you have to press the button.
Lois: What? Oh, huh, see ya tonight. You were serious about the burgundy?

Lois: Oh god, this is exactly why we shouldn't go out.
Clark: All I said was hi.
Lois: Yes I know and a dozen thoughts went through my mind. You know, how's my makeup, do I smell good, do I have coffee breath. See and if all that was just from you saying hi what's gonna happen when you start saying words with more than one syllable?

Clark: Would you like to go?
Lois: Oh, right. The date thing.

Lois: Ah . . . oh . . . sorry.
Clark: I guess I'm the one who needs a change now.
Lois: Ah boy, yeah I guess . . . I guess I should get up.
Clark: I guess so.

Clark: What happened?
Lois: Oh, I had a muscle . . . mishap. I had a mishap.

Clark: So.
Lois: So.
Jimmy: Am I interrupting something?
Lois: No.
Clark: No no.
Lois: No.

Lois: How'd you get it cold so fast?
Clark: I uh, uh . . . oh . . . o-oh
Lois: Oh, there's another lamp on the other side of the couch. I'll . . .
Clark: Oh, I got I got it . . . oh.

Lois: So, to our almost first date.
Clark: Our almost first date.

Lex: WHAT have you DONE to me?

Lois: No, thanks, I prefer doctors with live patients.

Superman: Some people would do anything for ratings!

Jonathan: Adult education, it's a beautiful thing.

Rolf: So good, so decent, don't you just want to vomit?

Jimmy: Are those new specs, C.K.?
Clark: Yeah.
Jimmy: Try 'em on?
Clark: No, uh . . . I have a really strong prescription. I wouldn't want to hurt your eyes.

Clark: You were trying to say something and I . . . I . . .
Lois: Had a sudden urge to return a tape. It's perfectly understandable. I needed to express a deep personal feeling. You had to save three dollars.
Clark: Lois. You know, I really hope that someday you learn that sometimes what it seems like people are doing isn't really what they're doing.
Lois: What are you, a fortune cookie?

Jimmy: I'm too young and boyish to go to jail.

Jimmy: I'm beginning to appreciate the office...it's freezing!

Lois: I have only one thing to say to you, honey. Ha (karate chop), ha (karate chop), ha (kick). Keep your lips off Superman.

Jimmy: I mean they always kinda looked alike, though.
Perry: Jimmy, some people say I look like Richard Nixon, but I ain't ever been to the White House.

Jonathan: Oh boy, what am I doin' playing with lasers, I'm a farmer.
Martha: You're helping our son. Now get your telemetry straight.

Lois: I like your new glasses.
Clark: Thanks.
Lois: Did you ever think of getting contacts?
Clark: No.

Lois: It's the not first time I've bent the law for a story, but I did feel bad because, after I finished rationalizing it, I realized that a big part of why I did it is because I don't like you.
Mayson: Really? Oh, god, that is such a relief. I don't like you either.
Lois: Really?
Mayson: Really.
Lois: Well, that makes me feel so much better. I couldn't stand the idea that I was just jealous because of Clark. It's so . . .
Mayson: Petty. I know. I mean it feels so much better just to . . .
Lois: To just dislike you because . . . you're you.

Lois: It's me, right? I make them insane. No, no, it's them! They're already insane. I just seem to find it!

Jimmy: Oh . . . I think I'm about to use one of my sick days . . .

Kyle: Victor, what are you doing? You sound like a pervert at a magazine stand.

Victor: I predict Victor, will be the victor!

Kyle: Gosh, I hope not, cuz I'm at the pinnacle of my pinochle.

Lois: Jimmy, give me back my dress.
Clark: Now there's something you don't hear around the newsroom every day.

Victor: It's a story about this female reporter who meets this guy from outer space and . . .uh . . . it's really very good . . . it's got a lot of that 'stuff' in it.

Prankster: How about a picture of her where she's not so, you know . . .
Victor: Clothed?
Prankster: Grow up!

Victor: Well, there goes my dream of livin' on a ranch with Lois, three kids, ropin' steer, deep fryin' stuff . . .

Clark: I think the better question, Chief, is, why was Griffin here in the first place.
Lois: My continuing degradation comes to mind.
Clark: No, I think that's just a bonus.

Victor and the Prankster: Superman!
Superman: Yes I am.

Clark: If you were a baseball player, what position would you play and why?

Jimmy: Are you the 'neighbor' who called the cops on us??

Lois: Oh, I can't leave town. In two days, I have an exclusive interview with the President of the United States, and it's not that often I get to meet someone with such incredible power. Except for you, I mean, but you're different. I mean, not different in an obvious way, but, you know, you're just sort of more than a story and . . . I don't know. You know. You're, you're . . . Well, you know what you are. Don't you?

Lois: I hope I never get laryngitis.

Jimmy: Hold the elevator!

Victor: An ode to your teeth. So perfect and shiny - I love you so much I wish you were miney.

Jimmy: A monk would be too loud for Lois.

Prankster: There’s a whole subdirectory on Lois Lane’s C drive about Superman.

Lois: The president is coming to Metropolis to present the city with an award for the lowest crime rate in America.

Prankster: I’m not interested in historical fantasies from you screwed up childhood in that day-care center basement.

Kerrigan: There’s always a problem.

Kerrigan: If you want to take care of the president, you’ve got to take care of your teeth.

Kerrigan: Are you on any type of Medication ma’am?

Lois: Superman, help!

Superman: Where is she?
Victor: That’s for you to know and us to find out!

Prankster: Victor, why haven’t I killed you yet?

Lois: Don’t expect me to be all happy and peppy on three hours of sleep.
Jimmy: Ever since I was a kid, I’ve slept with the t.v. on, Lois, I can’t help it.
Lois: Don’t you think freaking out because I turned it off was a bit over dramatic? I mean, come on . . . it was a 976 info-mercial.

Lois: No offense Clark, but I think that’s pretty dumb.

Jimmy: How do you get this thing off?

Clark: Why is it that Griffin and Victor can zap an entire newsroom and not be affected?
Lois: Because they’re subhuman.

Lois: By the way, if you could ask the president of the United States one question, what would it be?
Hamilton: I’d demand to know why this government is covering up hard data on the obvious existence of UFO’s.

Prankster: All work and no play, makes Superman a very dull boy.

Prankster: Oh, this IS a Kodak moment.

Prankster: You know what the problem is with being the man of steel? Steel don’t bounce.

Superman: Are you all right?
Lois: You seem to ask me that a lot lately.
Superman: People try to kill you a lot.

Lois: Look deep into my eyes.

Victor: I’m sorry, but that is really not fair.

Jimmy: You know something CK? She’s a class act.
Clark: I’ve always thought so.

Clark: I just remembered somthing really important I have to do.
Perry: More important than a bunch of terrorists blowing us all from here and Elvis and back? Now you get your butt over there in that chair and start typing!

Lois: It's up . . . It's good!

Lois (lowering her voice and pretending to be Mayson): [cough] Hi! Excuse me. I'm having some weird allergy attack. My voice sounds like a bullfrog.

Clark: I guess you could say I was your basic goodie two-shoes.

Lois: We've got a date on route 128.

Lois: Did I buy this??

Lois: Why can't you just say what you feel?
Clark: I guess people sometimes say things because they're afraid of being direct.
Lois: Why? What's the worst that could happen?
Clark: I don't know . . . the other person might not like what they hear, or one person might not meet the other person's expectation.

Lois: Hah! There's another landmine.
Clark: People shouldn't have to live up to other people's expectations.
Lois: Oh, come on, we do it all the time.
Clark: For example?
Lois: For example, you're not going to wear that to dinner that tonight, are you? You're gonna go home and change because we both have expectations about how each other's going to look. You'll be wearing something elegant, not too dark, charcoal suit. And I will be dressed in deep violet.
Clark: Burgundy.
Lois: Burgundy?
Clark: Or violet.
Lois: That's what you've always dreamed of seeing me in, burgundy? I don't have much in burgundy. Um, maybe if I hurry, I can make it to Neiman's before they close.
Clark: Lois, you don't have to do that.
Lois: No, no, wait, what time are you picking me up? 8? Uh, make it 8:15. Oh, no, forget it, that's a bad way to start a date, being late. 7:45. No, 8, I don't want you to think I'm flaky changing my mind all the time.

Lois: I know you said burgundy, but I thought, uh, why be a slave to expectations. That's a charcoal suit, isn't it? Uh, you know, I could change. Um, I got a lot of really cute things in burgundy.

Lois: I need a new partner.
Perry: I knew it. One bad date, there goes my whole news room. Why don't you just shoot me now, send me up to Elvis?
Lois: Perry. . . .
Perry: No, no, no, Lois, don't say it. You know, I have stood on the sidelines, hoping against hope that Mother Nature would smile on you two, that the bluebird of happiness would come down light on your shoulder, that four-leaf clovers would sprout up wherever you walked, and all the time my gut is singing a different aria.
Lois: Perry. . . .
Perry: Lois, anybody with half a hemisphere can see that you two are gasoline and fire, TNT and matches, two trains headed toward . . .
Lois: Perry! Thank you. The problem is we didn't have a bad date. It was a really great date, and now I'm completely panicked, and I have no idea what to do next.
Perry: Oh, oh, darlin'. Come here, honey.

Clark: Lois, about last night.
Lois: These things are kind of attractive, in a hideous sort of way.
Clark: I'm a bit confused.
Lois: Oh, look, yours has a stapler and a radio, pencil sharpener, that's pretty convenient.
Clark: Did I do something to offend you? Because if I did, I apologize.
Lois: Oh, my goodness, imitation wood paneling. Huh, must be the deluxe model.
Clark: Lois, no one's asking you for a lifetime commitment or anything like that, so there's no pressure here at all.

Lois: Oh, look, batteries are included.
Clark: Here, you wanna trade?
Lois: No. No, no, no. No, no, I love mine. I love mine.
Clark: Please, believe me, I've been looking for something like this for a long time.
Lois: Clark, I don't. . . . Oh, Clark, about last night.
Clark: Yeah?
Lois: Well, I just wanna say that. . . .
Mayson: Stop the presses! I've always wanted to say that in a newsroom.
Lois: Nobody ever says that, you know. It's just on television.
Mayson: Well, sure, but it still felt good.

Lois: You know, now I know what you boys were doing in sixth grade when the girls had to go to the auditorium for the hygiene lecture. You were learning sports metaphors.

Clark: Lois, I don't really know exactly how to say this, but why did you come back to me tonight to the factory? I mean, you were running back into an atomic explosion.
Lois: I know, it doesn't make too much sense, does it? I guess I just couldn't leave you there.
Clark: You slammed the door in my face last night.
Lois: That was a mistake.
Clark: Don't let it happen again.
Lois: I guess we'll, um, just have to see how things go, won't we?
Clark: Fortunately, there's no doors here tonight.
Lois: Fortunately.

Mayson: I know you're hiding something, something that's keeping us apart.

Clark: Why wouldn't the Chief want us to tell Jimmy that he said that?
Lois: It's one of those father/son things.
Clark: Oh, really?
Lois: Sure, it's classic. Men are uncomfortable expressing their emotions directly. It's just like the father/daughter thing, only, when you finally do talk, you use more sports metaphors.
Clark: Ha, that's ridiculous.
(Perry sticks his head out of his office).
Perry: Clark, if Jimmy calls, tell him I know it feels like the bottom of the ninth with two outs and two strikes against him but that the Planet is gonna mount a full-court press, and we won't stop until it's game, set, match, Olsen.

Lois: Story of the century, and some by the book Colonel tells me to sit on it cause of some little detail like national security!

Lois: I think what we should do is pick a date and just do it.
Clark: Okay fine . . . how about Thursday?
Lois: Thursday? No good, I have my national Organization of Women Journalist meeting. How about Wednesday?
Clark: Perry want’s us to cover that Society for Microentomologist Convention. The bug people, remember?
Lois: Mercifully I forgot.
Clark: How about tonight?
Lois: Um . . . I have my brown belt exam for Tea Kwan Do.
Jimmy: Um, am I sensing a problem?
Clark: No, nothing Jimmy Carter couldn’t negotiate.

Policeman: James Bartholomew Olsen?
Jimmy: Yeah?
Policeman: You’re under arrest for murder.

Mayson: Clark, I was wondering if you’re free tonight, I have some tickets to a play
Clark: Um . . . well that’s . . . ah, um . . .
Lois: That’s an unfortunate case of bad timing, Clark’s busy tonight. He and I have plans
Mayson: Oh.

Perry: That boy has become kind of like a son to me.

Superman: See? Simple.

Clark: Amazing.
Lois: And I’m sure she’s really unfamiliar with the word ‘silicone’.
Clark: I’m not talking about that.

Clark: (Reading an email) Lucky Leon, secret shipment.
Lois: Well, that’s weird, there’s no sender’s address on the email.
Clark: Well, if you were trying to remain anonymous, would you tell somebody where you lived?

Lois: Fifty bucks says we never make it to that date tonight, something will come up.
Clark: Like candy from a baby.

Leon: That’s what I love about this country, innocent until proven guilty. Where I come from it’s boom, boom shoot first then search for evidence later.

Lois: Get out!
Clark: I’m serious.
Lois: You can read lips from here? I thought I was good. What else can you do that I don’t know about?

Clark: Smokin’.

Clark: You look great.

Clark: You look fantastic!

Lois: Clark Kent, the rebel without a flaw.

Clark: The only time people ever really seem to express themselves is when they’re passionate and the polite veneer of society drops off. You know, like when they’re fighting . . .
Lois: Or make love . . . oh, my gosh.

Lois: Clark, I had a really nice time.
Clark: So did I.
Lois: No, I mean I had a REALLY nice time. Probably one of the best times I’ve ever had. It wasn’t the funniest or the wildest . . .
Clark: Don’t knock yourself out, Lois . . .
Lois: It just . . . seemed to . . . work. It was really nice. That’s why I can never see you again!
(She shuts the door in his face)
Clark: Lois?

Lois: Your voice sounds very sexy too.

Mayson: Clark, I’m sure it’s been obvious by the way I’ve been throwing myself at you, that I have feelings for you . . . This is where your supposed to say ‘I have feelings for you too, Mayson.'

Mayson: I love you.

Superman: Looks like it’s time for a field goal.

Clark: Look . . . a digital satellite camera and automatic control uplink . . . Let’s just say, it’s a good thing you didn’t keep the ‘Bath Friend’.

Mayson: Clark? So that’s what you’ve been hiding.

Clark: Guess that really is a killer outfit.

Stanley Gables: Everybody loves a good Stephen King novel, now this city's gonna live one.

Henry: I needed to disappear beyond suspicion, like . . . dead.

Clark: Uh, Lois, could you hand me a nail file?
Lois: Why do men always assume that women have nail files with them?
Clark: I'm sorry, but do you have a nail file?
Lois: Actually, I do, but only because it's part of my pocket knife.

Lois: How do I look?
Clark: Appropriately cheap.
Lois: Just let me do most of the talking.
Clark: You usually do.

Dan: Ah, touche', but I've got the gun, so my lie takes precedence.

Lois: I can get into any locked door.
Clark: I know, and that is what scares me.

Lois: Please, call him Daniel.

Lois: Ah, you know McCarthy. He never tawked much.

Lois: That's Big Buster Williams?

Clark: Just show him a window, Chief, I'm sure he'll climb out.

Mrs. McCarthy: But that sexy Superman fellow was in the area and he saved us. Ooh, I’m a bit weak in the knees.

Gable: I can’t afford any more dead friends waking up.

Lois: I thought Angela was love of your life?
Jimmy: Yesterday’s news.
Lois: Well, that didn’t take long.
Jimmy: I know, I’m single, I gotta keep my options open.

Perry: Well, but then, when’s a little police tape ever stopped you two?

Dan: I’m a very sensitive guy.

Dan: Unless you’re Superman, I wouldn’t recommend it.

Dan: You know, you have the most incredible eyes.

Dan: Please don’t take this the wrong way, but, are those eyelashes real?
Lois: Of, course they’re real.
Dan: Well, they’re very pretty.

Clark: Who does he think he is, Mel Gibson?

Mrs. McCarthy: They were pen pals.
Clark: They wrote to each other?
Mrs. McCarthy: Heavens no! They met in the pen.

Mrs. McCarthy: We’re very grateful to you, Superman, would you like a cookie?

Lois: I need to know if I’m yesterday’s news.
Clark: What? Lois: You know, stale, old . . . I mean, it’s been a week since our first date, and . . . our first kiss, and you haven’t said a word about it. It’s like it never happened.

Dan: Well, look who's here, if it isn’t the man with the smoldering eyes.
Clark: What are you talking about?
Dan: Mayson’s diary. Pretty steamy stuff, reads like an Emily Bronte novel.
Lois: You read Emily Bronte?
Dan: What can I say, I’m a hopeless romantic.

Lois: You have to understand, Clark was probably the only person in Metropolis that didn’t know that Mayson was . . . madly in love with him.

Lois: I’m feeling the sudden urge to plan a funeral.

Dan: Funny. I thought he’d be friendlier than that.

Dan: Way to go, Kent!

Dan: Lois, as much as I’ve fantasized about being in this position with you . . . you’re crushing my ribs.

Dan: I’m not exactly a monk.

Lois: Uh, Agent Scardino just dropped by to chat about the case.
Clark: That must have been some chat for you to need a shower.

Lois: Clark, where are you? It’s 5 a.m.

Lois: Hey! Hey, I’m alive in here!

Clark: What are you doing here anyway?
Dan: I slept on the fire escape.

Clark: Well, looks like you have some choices to make.

Lois: So did you expect that we'd just give you all our jewerly? Or maybe you'd like Superman to dig you a mine. Do I have "sucker" stamped on my forehead or maybe you think I'm the dumbest person on the planet?

Tempus: You are, you know, incredibly stupid.

Lois: Well, Clark . . . you got a little, um, schmutz here on your 'S'.

H.G. Wells: The hardest lesson to learn is that love can be so fair to some and so cruel to others, even those who would be gods.

Clark: Uh, Lois, I'm gonna, I'm gonna call Jimmy and tell him we're gonna be a little bit longer.
Lois: Clark. Uh, he always does that.
Wells: Well, don't worry, my dear, someday you'll understand why.

Tempus: Don't I know you?
Lois: I don't think so. Most of my friends are pro gun-control.
Tempus: No, wait, Lois Lane. Yes. I've seen the holograms. Well, this is a special pleasure, Ms. Lane. I'm Tempus. I'm from the future that you and Superman created.
Lois: Me and Superman?
Tempus: A world of peace. A world with no greed or crime. A world so boring you'd blow your brains out, but there are no guns.

Tempus: You see, Ms. Lane, in a world with no Superman, there'll be no Utopia in the future. Just a lot of sex and violence and me.

Frank James: Jesse, it happens to every man once in a while.
Jesse James: Not to me.
Frank: Look, it's not your fault. His was just plain bigger.
Jesse: Size never made no difference before.
Frank: You gotta get your mind off this, Jesse, or it could affect your future performance.

Marshall Kent: Gone. Which is exactly where we'd like you and the naked lady.
Lois: Naked? Oh, well, I'm not naked. These are just new . . . fashions from . . . France.

Tempus: Well, Lois Lane, independent career woman of the 1990s, you're about to be stranded in 1866, without the right to vote, own property or write for a great Metropolitan newspaper.

Lois: If you wanna kill Superman, I don't know why you're going to Smallville or 1966.
Tempus: She doesn't know yet. Oh, this is good. This is really good. Um, Lois, did you know that, in the future, you're revered at the same level as Superman? Why there are books about you, statues, an interactive game. You're even a breakfast cereal.
Lois: Really?
Tempus: Yes. But, as much as everybody loves you, there is one question that keeps coming up: "How dumb was she?" Here, I'll show you what I mean. Look (puts glasses on), I'm Clark Kent. (Takes glasses off) No, I'm Superman. (Puts glasses on) Mild-mannered reporter. (Takes glasses off) Superhero. Hello! Duh! Clark Kent is Superman. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was worth the whole trip. To actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived.

Lois: (Slap) And don't pretend that hurt, Superman.

Clark: Lois, I did not lie to you. I just told you certain facts to keep you from finding out about certain other facts.
Lois: You know, you oughtta run for President. Oh, but you can't, you weren't born here. Then again, you could just lie. Look at you now, renting a car. That's a big fat lie. What do you need a car for, you're Superman.

Clark: Glasses, secret identity, seemed like a good idea at the time.

Lois: Clark, are you all right?
Clark: I'm fine.
Lois: I was so afraid that you . . .
Clark: It's all right. Everything's all right.
Lois: I couldn't stand the idea that I might lose you, and I'd never get to tell you how much. . . . I'd never get to say . . .
Tempus: Oh please, I'll go to jail, I'll strap myself into the electric chair, just don't make me listen to this.

Wells: What's the matter, my dear?
Lois: Oh, you've been to the future, Mr. Wells. Is it true what Tempus said about me?
Wells: Oh, yes. You're as highly-revered as any woman in history.
Lois: Oh, no, I'm meant about being galactically stupid.
Wells: No, no, no, Miss Lane, not stupid, blind. It is one of the many things that makes your story so timeless. Why children never tire of hearing it at bedtime. Why parents never outgrow it. Generation after generation, we are all blinded by love, Miss Lane. Especially that one great love that changes us forever.
Tempus: Excuse me, but I'm in danger of choking on my own vomit.

Clark: I've wanted to do this for a long time. (reveals S)

Tempus: Oh this is good, this is real good!

Lois: It's just all those times you pretended you couldn't jump, couldn't hit, couldn't open a peanut butter jar by yourself.

Jimmy: Who's your buddy? Who's your pal?

Clark: Good morning Lois.
Lois: You’re late.
Clark: Good morning Clark.

Clark: So what did you get him?
Lois: Checked suspenders.
Clark: Didn’t you get him those last year?
Lois: Yeah. He liked them didn’t he!

Victim: Are you out of your mind?
Tempus: No. My century.

Lois: Superman got married?

Salesman: Wham . . . Bam . . . Thank you ma’am.

Tempus: You want to know the future, Miss Lane? No one works, no one argues, there are 9,000 channels and NOTHING ON!

Lois: Don’t you think it’s odd that we’re going to Smallville? That’s your home town.

Tempus: I’d almost think you did it on purpose, Herb, if I thought you had a spine.

Tempus: Well, well . . . yee ha.

Lois: Anything diet?

Tempus: God, I love irony!

Clark: Lois, come on, you haven’t said a word since 1866.

Tempus: Hello Junior!

Lois: What do you think I am? Galactically stupid?

Wells: Where are we?
Tempus: Well, if I remember my Kent history from college, this should be ‘Rocky Cove’ a nice place to spend some quality with our child.

Clark: Nothing like a little Buttermilk for what ails you.

Martha: You don’t need to be polite.
Lois: Oh, he’s not . . .
Clark: There were a lot of things I couldn’t say, but there was nothing I couldn’t feel.

Tempus: Does baby like his shiny new Kryptonite?

Tempus: [sung to the tune of rock-a-by-baby] Oh, Superbaby, new to the Earth, play with your rock and make pointless your birth. The world will spin on, sans super decree, and the future belongs to people like me.

Wells: Do you really think you can destroy Utopia, by killing a child?
Tempus: Well, as you can see, Herb, I’m giving it my best.

Tempus: Obviously . . . I’ve got to kill you.

Lois: Hate to tell you, but you fight like a girl.

Lois: Oh, I’m not very good with bab . . .
Wells: Oh, you will be, you will be.

Lois: He looks like you.
Superman: I hope so.

Tempus: Superman, as long as I have you here, just answer one thing for me. Why tights? Why a cape? You’re a grown man, don’t you feel ridiculous?
Superman: My mother made it for me.

Lois: I’m having the weirdest feeling of Deja vu.

Clark: What?
Lois: I was just thinking . . . Nah.

Dan: Gee, if I knew there was going to be a test, I would've studied.

Superman: For a minute there, Jimmy, you thought you could fly.

Lois: Oh, and you could stay with me. As long as you don't analyze me.
Sarah: Just how long have you had this fear of self-discovery, Lois?

Sarah: You know I could tell a lot about you from the way you organize your kitchen. I'm taking this course in applied psychology.
Lois: Sarah, I ordered you not to analyze me.
Sarah: Oh, right. That's exactly what I would have said about you from the way you organize your kitchen.

Sarah: So, what is going on with you and Clark?
Lois: Nothing that is any of your business. (Pause) Okay, we went on a date, and it was great, and we kissed and that was really great. And, ever since then, he's been tiptoeing around. I have no idea what his problem is.
Sarah: Mm, hmm, and now this Scardino guy's arrived on the scene, and he's looking pretty good. Lois, it's classic. Psych 101. Okay, look, you ever had rocky road ice cream?
Lois: I think that's a bad example, if you're gonna be talking about relationships.
Sarah: Just a metaphor, Lois, just go with me. If I told you that you could only have one ice cream flavor for the rest of your life, what would it be, rocky road or chocolate?
Lois: Well, I don't know, I guess I'd have to try rocky road before I decided.
Sarah: That's the point. Clark's chocolate. I mean, it's good, it's good and all, but, you know, you've had it.
Lois: Yes, but you can put hot fudge on it, and whipped cream, and nuts.
Sarah: Bananas.
Lois: Oh, bananas.
Sarah: Ooh, don't take me there. Okay, now this Scardino guy, he's rocky road. He's different, interesting, chunky.
Lois: You know, Sarah, if you go around trying every flavor that comes out, you're gonna get awfully fat.
Sarah: Well, that's when you go for the little, pink, plastic taster spoons. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. I'm telling you, Lois, chocolate will always be there.
Lois: Not necessarily. I think I'd really miss chocolate if I couldn't have it.

Clark: Congratulations! A healthy baby basketball!

Lois: Dan, I’m really flattered, it’s just that . . . I’ve been seeing Clark . . .
Dan: Kent.
Lois: Yeah.
Dan: Nice guy. Real . . . polite.

Clark: What did Inspector Gadget want?

Katherine's mother: She means bimbo in a good way, Claus.

Superman: I haven’t lost a came of ‘Chicken’ yet.

Muunor: Where I come from we don’t need drugs to control our women.

Clark: Lois?
Dan: Uh-oh. Dad’s here.

Katherine: Do you always read people’s phone messages?
Lois: Well, sort of a bad habit I picked up being a reporter.
Katherine: Well, bad habits can be very hazardous to your health.

Sarah: I think you’re just weird enough to be sexy.

Dan: Something tells me you folks aren’t Jehovah witnesses.

Dan: Last time I saw that look, you were sticking a plunger in my stomach.

Superman: Yeah, sure, as long as I'm not out saving the world or something.

Perry: If you ask me, you're doing too much thinking and not enough doing.

Lois: These two situations are mutually exclusive.

Lois: Superman, you just let them get away!
Superman: It's no big deal, Lois.
Lois: What!!!
Superman: Most criminals are repeat offenders, I'll probably just catch them later, and if I don't . . . well . . .
Lois: Come back here!

Bill Church, Jr.: Well, this is better than killing him. He just doesn't care. That was the problem with the green kryptonite, it always ticked him off.

Superman: So, is that Tiffany with an "i" or a "y"?

Superman: Lois, don't have a stroke, what do you think police are for?

Dr. Friskin: Do you have a girlfriend right now?
Superman: Yes. No. It's kind of complicated. I haven't exactly told her everything about me, and I'm afraid that that is, well, it's making her drift toward this other guy.
Dr. Friskin: Does he have superpowers too?

Dr. Friskin: Oh, you've spent some time in therapy?
Lois: Oh, no. Uh, just that the last psychiatrist that I saw, well, had an exact double of me made and tried to kill me.
Dr. Friskin: And how did that make you feel?

Lois: But you've gotta promise you won't disappear. And you'll be there at 7? And 7:01? And 7:02? And 7:03? And 7:04? And 7:05?

Superman: If more people pondered the consequences of their actions, this planet wouldn't be in the state it's in.

Jimmy: I think you might be tuned into the wrong channel . . .

Jimmy: If I start now I could have a mail order physics degree in say six years.

Lois: Hold down the fort.
Jimmy: Isn't that what they said to Jim Bowie at the Alamo?

Dr. Frisken: He may be Superman to you, but first and foremost, he's a person -- a very complex person.

Perry: I'm sorry I ever let you spit up on me.

Tiffany: So, do you like, have to work out and stuff?
Superman: Nope. It’s all natural. Want to feel?

Lois: Now there’s one of my favorite sights in the whole world, the truck that delivers out paychecks.

Superman: I’m afraid you’ll have to take a rain check on those checks, boys.
Robber: Oh, really? What if we don’t want to?
Superman: Well . . . maybe nothing, I mean they’ll just have to re-issue these checks, so, what do I care?

Clark: Let me guess, Agent Scardino is on a stake out over at a flower shop.
Lois: Jealousy is so unbecoming.

Perry: Hey, you’re going to run with the billionaires, you gotta run fast.

Receptionist: Uh-huh. No permanent address. No social security number. And no medical insurance. I assume you’ll be paying in cash.

Bill Church Jr: Maybe you don’t understand. You see, if you work for me, you get rich beyond your wildest dreams, on the other hand, if you continue to cling to your misguided morality . . . you die.

Jimmy: Yeah, hello, Is this Zina?
Zina: Yes, of course.
Jimmy: You gotta help me.

Clark: What exactly are we looking for?
Lois: I have no idea, but hopefully we’ll find it.

Patient: You see Bob, he’s in touch with his feelings.

Lois: Did you bring your ‘mission impossible’ tool box with you?

Superman: It’s great to be back!

Clark: Say you’ll go out with me tonight, and I promise you, I will not disappear.
Lois: All right.

Charles Knox: Let's talk dates.
Dan: Well, we hardly know each other, but hell, if you're paying.

Scardino: I figured because of the size of my jerkiness, maybe flowers, maybe jewelry, maybe a Lear jet.

Superman: You know, people who love each other are supposed to be kind to each other.

Calvin: What are you, a greeting card on steroids?

Lois: You know, you just seem to have this annoying little habit of repeating back to me everything I just said.
Dr. Friskin: Sometimes we can't hear what we're saying unless somebody reflects it back.
Lois: They make me really mad.
Dr. Friskin: And what do you think you might want to do about that?
Lois: (Scream)

Dr. Friskin: I'd've gone with a primal scream, though.

Constance Hunter: Don't say you're sorry . . . it's pathetic.

Lois: I know how I feel, and I know what I think . . . and those are two very different things.

Martha: I'm not saying anything . . . and before we stick our noses in any further we're going out for Chinese.

Lois: No, don't say a word. Allow me. Lois, I can explain. I suddenly remembered that I had to get my mother's sister's poodle's hair cut, and so you can see why I had to leave you in the middle of our date with your thumb in your ear. But I'm sure you'll understand.

Dan: Hello, I'm doing a survey of women who resent having gifts sent to them. Please answer true or false. Wrapping paper offends me? Mmm, hmm. I am psychologically unable to accept gifts? Mmm, hmm. Gifts are okay, I just can't stand the guy who sent them?

Lois: I know a guy who handles stuff like this. He's never lost a case.
Superman: Yeah, but is he a good person?
Lois: He's a lawyer.

Constance: Then you need someone who sees an open wound and automatically reaches for the soul. You need a real lawyer.

Lois: So basically what you're saying is, all my life I've attracted men that are controlling, incomplete, or downright liars because . . . because . . .
Dr. Friskin: Keep going.
Lois: Because that's how I want to be treated? But if I want that kind of man, and I get that kind of man, why am I not happy?
Dr. Friskin: You like chocolate, right?
Lois: How come everybody knows that?
Dr. Friskin: But you know it's not good for you, and the older and wiser we get, the less tolerance we have for something that's not good for us. You're not a victim, Lois, so stop acting like one. You know who you want to be with, you've known all along. The problem is, he's just as scared as you are. So, who's going to be the first to step up and say the scary words?
Lois: How come you don't ask the simple questions?
Dr. Friskin: I would . . . if I knew the easy answers.

Lois: He doesn't love you, Elise. You can tell when a man loves you by the way he treats you, by the way he looks at you, by the way. . . .
Elise: Look, Ms. Lane, if you've found the perfect man, then I'm happy for you.
Lois: No, he's about as far from perfect as you get, but I'll tell you the difference between him and Calvin. I know that he wants my happiness more than his own.

Superman: But, when I save a life, in that instant, I know two things that most people will never figure out: Why I'm here, and how I can make a difference.

Lois: You live above us, and, when we try and bring you down here, we just end up showing the worst sides of ourselves. I tried to love you. I realized that that was selfish, because you're not just here for me, you're here for all of us. I'll always need you, and I'll always be your friend, but there's someone here who needs me, and I just need to figure out how to get him to see that.

Lois: Hi.
Clark: Hi.
Lois: Planning a yard sale? No, wait. That's a form of distancing. My therapist - I know, I have a therapist, can you believe it? - she says that I say things like that to to distance myself so I don't actually have to deal with anything. It's all . . . very complicated and has to do with some boring childhood trauma . . . can I come in?
Clark: Yeah.
Lois: I told Superman that I just wanted to be friends . . . that there was someone else. And Dan and I--
Clark: Look, Lois, if you came here to tell me that you and Dan--
Lois: We're not going to be seeing each other anymore. [stunned silence] Wait a minute, this isn't vacation packing, is it? This is forever packing.
Clark: I was thinking of moving, but now I'm not so sure . . .
Lois: So what were you going to do? Were you just going to slip out in the middle of the night, not even tell me? Send me a postcard from-- I'm distancing. I'm sorry. I . . . I didn't expect this. You leaving.
Clark: Lois, you and I haven't exactly been . . . getting along. It's my fault. I should tell you--
Lois: Yeah, it's your fault! It's your fault . . . and it's my fault. You know, we let ourselves get distracted, and we work too much, and we fight about silly things . . . and all because we're trying to hide from each other, and I'm sick of it! The only reason to hide is because we're scared!
Clark: Of what?
Lois: Of the fact that we're partners . . . and best friends . . . and this. [total WHAMmyWAFFy kiss.] Clark, if you're going to run away from this, tell me now.
Clark: I'm not going to run, Lois. I'm ready to take the next step, if you are . . .
TV: We seek the comfort of another, someone to shape and share the life we choose, someone to help us through the never ending attempt to understand ourselves. And, in the end, someone to comfort us along the way. For the Nature Station, I'm Marlin Finch Lupus, reminding you to STAY!

Jimmy: Is this your idea of a date??

Lois: What do you talk about if you can't talk about what you did all day?

Marline Finch Lupus: And so we see that spineless dung beatles tend toward thinly veiled power structures, apparently having little regard for the colony as a whole.

Perry: Lois, is that you? Honey I need some help. I can not keep these fingernails on. How in thunder you women put up with all of this is beyond me.

Lois: You’ll be here when I get back? You won’t get some sudden urge to go buy a video, put money in the parking meter, or go get yourself some new shoelaces?

Lois: I’m mad at both of you.
Dan: Me? Why me?
Lois: Because you deliberately horned in on my date with Clark and you tried to make him look bad.
Dan: I didn’t have to try very hard.

Lois: I don’t need protecting.

Lois: I just want one man. One whole man. Is that to much to ask for? And what do I have to chose from? I have one guy whose really wonderful, only he disappears every time I try and talk to him. And one guy whose really exciting to be with, only he won’t talk to me about his work. What are people supposed to talk about if they won’t talk about what they did all day? And one guy who is out of this world- - - literally.
Friskin: I thought you’d given up the Superman fantasy?
Lois: My head has but you know, my heart is just . . . conflicted.

Barker: Superman you have just been served.

Dan: Oh. Super.

Clark: Hi, Lois.
Lois: Men are pigs.

Clark: What?
Lois: Well?
Clark: Well, what?

Clark: Lois, I’m sorry.
Lois: Clark!
Clark: I’m sorry.
Lois: Don’t you do it . . .

Clark: I can’t go on being two people anymore.

Hunter: You’re being pathetic.

Lois: I smell a ham . . . with cheese.

Clark: Lois, I'm Super- (telephone ring)

Superman: Where are my parents?
Mazik: Where are my parents, sir?
(Superman rolls eyes then picks Mazik up)

Mazik: My father always said, 'Close every good deal with a drink.'
Nigel: Obviously a man of good breeding.
Mazik: He was a pig.

Mazik: Did I ever tell you how my father died?
Nigel: No.
Mazik: I poisoned him.

Lois: Jimmy, did you hear something?
Jimmy: Like what?
Lois: Sounded a little like my name, you didn't say my name, did you?
Jimmy: No, Clark did.
Lois: Clark who?
Clark: Lois.
Lois: There it is again.

Jace Mazik: No can do, buckaroo.

Superman: Well, I could give them a stern talking-to.

Perry: Do you ever get the impression that we’ll never know everything that’s going on with those two?
Jimmy: Chief.
Perry: Yeah?
Jimmy: Instead of always standing around watching Lois and Clark, wondering what they’re doing, we get to get lives of our own that are little more interesting.
Perry: Son, you just hit the bulls eye. It’s like we’re supporting characters in some t.v. show and it’s only about them.
Jimmy: Yeah! It’s like all we do is advance their plots.
Perry: To tell you the truth, I’m sick of it.
Jimmy: Man, me too!

Superman: Didn't you used to play football for the Bills?
Flower shop guy: 'Til I blew my knee out. Now I do this. It's much more relaxing and definitely less painful.
Superman: Huh, I know what you mean.

Clark: You're not mad?
Lois: At what?
Clark: That, once again, I'm running off.
Lois: Well, why should I be? Dr. Friskin really helped set me straight on this. She helped me realize, and even accept, that people have separate lives and, no matter how involved we are, sometimes it's appropriate to do things apart. (Clark leaves). Right.

Lois: You look good in black. Perfect with your skin tone. Perfect for a funeral, maybe yours. Perfect for robbing a jewelry store.
Clark: Lois, I can explain.
Lois: Boy, do I know how to pick 'em. I thought I knew you. I thought you were a decent and straight up guy. I thought that you were last honest man. I thought that you were . . . I thought that you were Clark Kent. Who are you?

Martha: You're the best man I know, Jonathan. The best man I'll ever know.

Lois: Yes, I could die, but Clark's parents will die unless we help them. Please, Superman, you haven't seen him. You don't know what he's going through. He needs me. And I have never needed you more than I do right now. You just can't turn me down. You can't.

Lois: If anything happens, tell Clark that I love him.
Superman: He knows, but I'll tell him.

Clark: I think we need to talk.
Lois: You read my mind . . . or my screen.

Lois: Don't. I cannot listen to one more stupid story about your barber or your doctor or how you suddenly remembered that you have to return a book to the library. What you owe me is some respect. I am so tired of the excuses, Clark. How can we have a relationship, if you're not going to be honest with me?
Clark: Lois, I have always been honest with you. Always. Except for one thing. And when I tell you what that one thing is, I hope you'll understand.

Clark: Lois, I've got something I want to tell you.
Lois: It's not good news, is it?
Clark: Well, I don't know, maybe.
Lois: No. It's not. I can tell by your face.
Clark: Lois, maybe you'd better sit down.
Lois: Oh yeah, this is good news.

Jimmy: Hey, nice coat, although a flak jacket might've been a better call.

Clark: I wanted to talk to you about something.

Clark: Lois, there’s something I want to tell you. I’m Superman . . . uh . . . Hey, did you ever notice how Superman and I look kind of alike? Well, it’s funny that you should say that because . . . um . . . Hey, guess what? I’m Superman . . . humm . . . Lois, there’s something I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, and before out relationship goes any future, it’s important that you know that I’m . . .
Lois: What are you doing?

Mazik: Give you a case of Deja vu?

Martha: Jonathan, of course he was acting odd, haven’t you been listening to him? He’s in love.

Jimmy: That must be some story.
Lois: Seen enough?
Jimmy: You're not actually going to say that stuff to CK are you?

Mazik: Might as well get stinking rich before we kill him.

Perry: Hey Jimmy, that dress Lois has on, didn’t she have that on yesterday?
Jimmy: I don’t know.
Perry: Now, Jimmy, if you want to be a newspaperman you gotta be observant. Now, doesn’t Clark look a little . . . haggard to you?
Jimmy: Yeah.
Perry: You know, like he’s been up all night worrying about something. Like a dog trapped in a cage?
Jimmy: Yeah, I guess.
Perry: You know what I think?
Jimmy: What?
Perry: I think they eloped.

Martha: You’re the best man I know. The best man I’ll ever know. I loved you then and I love you now.

Clark: Wait here.
Lois: When pigs fly.

Nigel: That women is a menace.

Mazik: Your new assignment is to kill Lois Lane.

Clark: He wants . . . you . . . dead.

Lois: The way you just touched me . . .

Superman: Close your eyes.

Mazik: You must feel very pleased, now that Lois Lane is dead?
Nigel: Yes, it would warm my heart. If I had one.

Superman: Don’t you die on me, Lois!

Clark: Lois, I’ve been thinking.
Lois: Me too.
Clark: What about?
Lois: You first.

Clark: Okay . . .

Clark: I love you.

Clark: If the earth opened up at my feet, I wouldn’t move until I said this. Lois, will you marry me?
Lois: Clark . . .