Martha: My boy is coming home.
Jonathan: Martha-
Martha: Jonathan, my boy is coming home.

Nor: Well, well, isn't this an awkward moment.

Lois: I hear ya. If he invaded my country, I'd kick Godzilla's butt too.

Lois: Do you have any idea how much cookie dough ice cream I've gone through?

Lord Nor: I warn you, my credentials in the field of excruciating death are impeccable.

Lois: Chief, to be honest . . . I'm sure he has no idea.

Lois: Oh, what are their business hours?

Lois: From concubine to slave. Is that a step down?

Clark: My heart is waiting for me back on earth. Lois is my heart.

Zara: Are the intimate habits of men and woman on Earth so different from ours? It wasn't in my briefing manual.

Nor: Prisoner is such a pejorative word.
Leeza: What would you call them?
Nor: Students.

Clark: This could be a pretty good custom.

Guy: A bit of domestic discord?
Trey: You don't know the half of it.

Nor: Do not, I beg of you, think of me a some alien creature, some being who shares nothing with you, rather, think of me as a God.

Nor: Your enthusiasm touches me deeply.

Lois: Promise me, once in a while we'll have a quiet evening at home.

Clark: And the only time that I feel real is inside my head, thinking about you.
Lois: Well, I'm here now.

Trey: Family friend?
Lois: Very friendly.

Lois: I am taken, dance card filled, off the market. Argh, and here is poor Clark, out risking his life for a, a story, and the minute his back is turned you're, you're . . .
Ralph: Woah, it's just a stinking dinner.
Lois: Well, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Lois: You're just an illusion . . . not here.

Clark: I do not inspect women. Ching, I'm telling you that . . . that . . . that this could be a really good custom.

Lois: Oh God! Oh, if you're not real, I don't wanna know.
Clark: I told you I'd come back.
Lois: Oh, you did, kiss me!
Clark: I don't have a lot of time to see you.
Lois: Why are you here?
Clark: Change of plans.
Lois: Oh, don't stop . . . what about your people?
Clark: They're here too.
Lois: Don't ever leave me again.
Clark: I won't.

Lois: Concubine? I thought this was some great evolved civilization. I mean look at me. I'm on a leash.
Clark: Yeah, well look at the outfit they put me in.
Lois: Well, actually, I don't mind yours.

Lois: You do look good . . . really great, in the new suit.
Clark: You think it's better than the blue and the cape?
Lois: Oh no, I'm not knocking the blue suit, it's just that this is more...more.

Clark: I just want this kept low key ya know. They don't have to make a big deal over it. WHOA.

Zara: Your heart isn't in this.
Clark: My heart? No. No. My heart is waiting for me back on Earth. Lois is my heart.

Nor: I neither like you, nor need you.

Clark: I'm not sure what to do here.

Clark: If by sentiment you mean that I value human life, YEAH, I'm kind of a nut that way!

Lois: Do you mind? I'm on the clock here.

Perry: Superman!
Jimmy: Cool outfit!

Nor: Resist me . . . and die!

Jimmy: Why? What were you thinking?
Lois: I want a simpler life . . . simpler life.

Lois: I'm crazy . . . and talking to myself . . . that's a sign isn't it . . . now I'm asking myself questions . . . oh, this could be a problem . . . well, maybe I'll learn to enjoy it.

Nor's man: Behold your ruler and bow down.

Ching/Trey: Martians?
Col. Cash: A generic term for anyone who's never had a Big Mac.

Jimmy: Listen Ching, I was thinking maybe I should wear one of those black outfits like Kal-El has, you know, just so I can fit in better. It's not like I would look bad or anything, I've really lowered my percentage of body fat.

Kal-El: Who am I Jen-Mai? I am your commander!

Zara: By the way, we're out of, uh, high fat, high salt, nutritionally worthless snack items.
Lois: I nearly cleaned out the store!
Zara: We're all nervous, and since we don't have to worry about calories or cholestorol . . .
Lois: Believe me, I know all about it.

Lois: Oh boys! Not the fishtank!

Lois: Zara, stir the fudge and turn off the popcorn.
Zara: Which is which?
Lois: Finally, someone worse in the kitchen than me...

Lois: What about his appeal?
Nor: Well, admittedly he's well built, but a trifle dull for my taste.

Guy: New Krypton . . . it'll be a world of fun . . . except of course you'll be our slaves . . .

Superman: I'm fighting for my people.

Lois: Watch it, I'm his favourite concubine.

Lois: Okay, let's get something straight here, I am not a concubine.

Lois: You know what? I don't like New Krypton. THERE! I said it!

Lois: I know, I'm sorry, I get upset, I shoot my mouth off, I don't know if you noticed . . .

Clark: Marry me, Lois. Let's not plan, let's not wait . . . Let's not have any clone-makers or psycho-psychiatrists, or women who shrink people into little people keep us apart. Just marry me.
Lois: You know . . .that's precisely what I was thinking!

Lois: Did anything good come out from learning your roots? Anything positive, or was it all bad?"
Clark: All of that, I guess. I expected to get this feeling of instant connection when I was with them, like I belonged. But, that only happened once in my life.
Lois: When?
Clark: When I met you.
Lois: For a spaceman, you're the most romantic person I've ever known. No Earth guy would have a chance against you . . .

Lois: Superman is a very good friend of ours, and if he thought you were helping Myrtle in any way, the phrase "God help you" would take on a whole new meaning, because only God could.

Mike: But after everything that's happened, I think you guys have learned something. Love survives. Survives any joy, any sorrow, all the rights, and all the wrongs. Even life and death. But then you both know that already. Just like you know now that you've finally arrived, at the perfect time and the perfect place.

Lois: Maybe we're cursed or something. You know, maybe the gods like us to get happy, compfortable, enjoy a little peace and quiet and then WHAM, take down, grapple and pin, happiness loses. I don't think we should joke about this. The more I think about it, we really shouldn't be advertising it.

Clark: Honey. We are getting married because our being together is bigger than anything that has ever been. It's destiny.

Mike: I'm not stranger, Lois.

Lois: Listen, let's get something straight. Clones eat frogs, not lizards. Frogs. Any idiot knows that.

Clark: It didn't look like a bomb to me chief.

Emily: She never actually killed anyone though. Did she?

Lois: Are you warm doctor?
Dr. Grumman: Yes, a bit. See, I'm, uh, I'm wearing wool.

Lois: Most couples are picking out china patterns and arguing over seating charts. We're breaking and entering.

Ellen: Anybody have an aspirin?
Jimmy: Oh yeah.
Perry: Right here.
Lois: I'll go get you one.
Ellen: Ah, two, will be fine.

Jimmy: I guess technically she should be called the 'Happiness Destroyer', huh?

Perry: You tell us where and when, and we'll be there with kevlar and rice.

Perry: But you're sure that Superman is around?
Clark: Positive.

Clark: Can we maybe slow this down a little bit? She's not here.

Ellen: How romantic.

Lois: Considering we just had our second wedding which failed to result in an actual marriage, I guess so.

Mike: And again. All those that can fly under their own power will be making themselves and their fiancees airborn, and flying due west.

Mike: Oh, you beat me here. Well, I guess I should've known.

Lois: Mike. All my life he's been there for me. Giving me just that little extra.
Clark: Yeah. He's always there with a little bit of encouragement, but we never get to remember.

Clark: Look, everyone needs to know that this isn't some kind of evil genius, cloned, amnesiac, fake-out, because there would be a riot.

Jimmy: Can I still bring a date?

Mike: I'm just here to give you what you have always wanted. And what everyone has been waiting for so patiently, and praying for so hard!

Clark: Lois, I have loved you from the moment I saw you. I love your humor, your passion, the way you just . . . dive right in--even when you shouldn't. Because you refuse to just watch the world. You demand that it be a better place, and because of you--it is. And today, I want to give you as much of the world as I can.
Mike: Lois?
Lois: Clark, you're my best friend. Before I met you, I never had a best friend. And falling in love with you has been so easy, I don't know why I fought it so long! You have such gentle grace, such quiet strength. I don't know anyone with as pure a heart. And so today, I give you my love, my honour, and our life--together.

Mike: Lois and Clark, I now pronounce you husband and wife!

Lois: A curse. Naturally. Why not?

Lois: Nothing like bumpin' up and down on horseback to get your juices flowing!

Clark: Didn't spill a drop.
Lois: I don't want anything to cloud this moment.
Clark: A moment we were destined for . . .
Lois: That's what makes it so special . . . (kiss)
Lois: I love you, Clark Kent . . .
Clark: I love you . . . Lois . . . Lane . . .

Clark: It's the pants, isn't it? They're too tight.
Lois: No, I just . . . never get over how well defined you are.

Tempos: I can't believe I was actually fooled by a small mask over the eyes.
Loisette: Duh, join the club!

Lone Rider/CK: (Taking disguise) Do you think it will work?
Lu Lu/Lois: Please, who are you talking to?

Reverend Perry: Do you, Tempus Tex, take this woman-
Tempus Tex: I do. This is where the bad guy speeds things up.

H.G. Wells: Dual personas seem to be part of your destiny.
Lois: And trouble seems to be part of mine.

Sorcerer: Would that I could Sire . . .
Tempos: Are you sure? You've talked to the other sorcerers?

Lois: I hope you don't do everything that fast.

Clark: I think there is a very good reason why we're Soul Mates.

H.G. Wells: It seems that your soul is intertwined with hers. Like . . . soul mates.
Lois: Soul mates?
H.G. Wells: Wherever his was, there was yours. Never one without the other. Two lovers destined to meet and fall in love, over and over again, throughout time.

Clark: Do we even have a choice?
Wells: Abstinence.
Lois: No way.
Clark: No, not a chance, forget it.

Baron Tempos: I hate it when the hero gets the heroine. It's so cliche.

Clark: Nice rat. What's his name?
Sorcerer: HER name is Morgana. She's my wife actually. Or at least she was, until I caught her in the arms of another. Perks of being a sorcerer.

Tempus Tex: Whoa! Talk about your deja vu!

Perry: Congressman? Did we miss a scoop Jimmy?

Jimmy: Oh, this can't be good.

Lois: Sometimes life ain't fair.

Lois: How are we ever going to make it through the day?
Clark: I don't know . . .
Lois: You would think that after two weeks . . .
Clark: Oh, but we waited so much longer than two weeks.
Lois: So, it was worth it then? The wait, I mean?
Clark: Lois, it was perfect . . .

Connor Shank: It was the 30s. Does the phrase, 'Great Depression' mean anything to you? Back then we'd get maybe a coupla thousand and sometimes they'd throw in a calender.

Lois: You're obsessing.
Clark: Well, it bothers me. I mean, a bankrobber, Lois?
Lois: Nobody's perfect. Okay, scratch that. You're perfect. So there's got to be some other explanation.

Perry: What in the name of all that is Memphis is going on?

Lois: Well, you know I love it. But, is it you?
Clark: No. It's us.

Lois: I have to get some air.

Clark: We are going to grow old together.
Lois: No, Clark, we are NOT going to grow old together. I am going to grow old . . . alone.

Clark: Lois, I have no idea what you're talking about!
Lois: You don't--do you? Dr. Klein says that your molecular structure slows the aging process. So one day, I'll be an old crone, and you'll still be . . . Superman.
Clark: Well, even if that is true, that wouldn't change how I feel about you--nothing could change that.
Lois: I know that. We'll have a wonderful life together . . . And after our wonderful life together, you'll . . . have another one.

Jimmy: All I remember is . . . I wanted the story. Heh . . . guess now I AM the story!

Woman: As a woman, you should know. Women get old; men become distinguished. Success is attained; youth is lost, and that is a fact of life.

Clark: I thought we were supposed to tell each other everything.
Lois: Then why didn't you tell me about your molecular structure?

Inmate: The Caped Crusader!
Superman: That's Batman.

Inmate: You really do have friends in high places.

Judge: Maybe someone ought to yell help.

Lois: My mother spanked me for pointing a water pistol at my sister!

Lois: I'll be good.

Lois: 2011 . . . 2499 . . . 2500.
Clark: You cheated.

Perry: It's more of a father-daughter relationship.

Lois: That's us, Mr. and Mrs. Lane . . . Kent . . . Lane and Kent.

Clark: You follow your heart. You do the right thing.
Lois: Is the why you love me?
Clark: Well, that and you have a great body.

Cole: . . . muscle-bound goody-goody.

Dr. Klein: You're sounding a little unhinged and unstable yourself.

Dr. Klein: Superman, forgive me, but you are losing it, my boy.

Lois: Let's see some tights!

Cop: Have you noticed a mad woman lurking about?
Clark: What kind of mad woman?
Cop: Vicious, homicidal, maniacal.
Clark: A handful.
Cop: Mad Dog Lane?
*CREAK*
Cop: Was that a creak?
Clark: Was what a creak?
Cop: I thought I heard a creak.
Clark: I didn't hear a creak.
Cop: Could swear I heard a creak.
Clark: Wasn't a creak.
Cop: Nooo creak.
Clark: No creak at all...

Clark: Here's that list of anyone who has a grudge against you.
Lois: And those are just my relatives.

Clark: Honey, honey. Please, I'm trying to superhear right now. When I'm superhearing, and you're standing this close, and you're talking to me it feels like you're sticking a knife in my head, honey. So, if you could just stop, for just a second, please.

Lois: You change your whole identity with a pair of glasses. I'm going the extra mile here.

Lois: Lunatic? A guy can never be too careful?
Clark: What did you want me to say? Lighten up officer, uh...I'm married to that lunatic!?!
Lois: Well, I may be a lunatic. But I'm your lunatic.
Clark: You know that is how I feel too, honey.

Lois: This is ridiculous. I'm turning myself in. Because I know what you're thinking. You're thinking of doing something crazy, like flying me out of here, and I am not letting you tarnish your name anymore than you already have. So, that's just the end of it. I'm sorry, I'll stop talking.

Clark: They want to execute my wife, Perry.

Perry: Why don't you go on home, son?
Clark: There's nothing there for me, Chief.

Lois: You, being irrational; I sort of love that.

Superman: I am going, and so are you.
Lois: What?
Superman: I'm taking you out of here.

Lois: Listen to us. Just to meet us you'd never think of us as Bonnie and Clyde!

Clark: That's why we're not flying.
Lois: But you can fly fast enough to be almost invisible.
Clark: Yeah, but you would be vaporized.
Lois: Vaporized? That would be bad.

Clark: Can I ask you a question?
Lois: Yes, sweetheart?
Clark: Are you crazy? The guy that put you away is right in there!
Lois: You are upset. (whispers) Your suit's showing.

Sheila (to Cole): That's like, what? A new math?

Cole: I wouldn't worry about going mental, Sheila. That would require mentality.

Cole: You would just be another head on my wall.
Sheila: You have heads?
Cole: I speak metaphorically!

Superman: (to Lois) You rang?

Clark: Inconvenienced? Honey, you've been sent to death row.

Jimmy: Well, whoever he is, he's not here . . . Of course, I won't rest until I find him.

Lois: Hello, mother? . . . It's me . . . I'm, yeah, I'm fine. I . . . I walked out, mother . . . It's a long story . . . Well, I'm sorry this has taken such a terrible toll on you . . . I'm sorry that you had to double your medication . . . Yes, I know, medication is not cheap . . . What? . . . Bloodhounds lose the scent if I hide in water? . . . Yeah, I'll try and remember that.

Assistant: Don't even gasp!

Superman: Hi ho, Dr. Klein.
Dr. Klein: Hi ho?

Lois: Race ya upstairs. No cheatin', no superpowers!

Lois: You also have a wife who thinks it's impossible to meet a couple where you like him and I like her and we like them and they like us . . . (to the phone) Is this thing working?

Clark: I don't go around x-raying everyone's secret compartment.
Lois: How many people do we know that actually have secret compartments? Good people?

Herbie: Casper could do a better job!!!

Kathy: I don't trust you or anyone with a pulse!

Herbie: Yeah, well, ambiance is everything.

Herbie: Do I open the door or do you just slither underneath?
Katie: Well, how long was I dead? There was no way of knowing in there.
Herbie: Who was the president when you died?
Katie: Oh, I never followed politics.
Herbie: Who won the Superbowl?
Katie: I wasn't really into sports.
Herbie: What was your favorite tv show?
Katie: Well, I didn't really watch television.
Herbie: No wonder somebody killed you. You must have been a real drag.

Herbie: Now go over to the Kents and scare them.
Katie: Why?
Herbie: Because I said so.
Katie: That's good enough for me.

Herbie: I'm the master, you're the servant.
Katie: I like to think of us as partners.

Clark: What is this?
Katie/Lois: Just a little morning sunshine I whipped up.

Katie/Lois: Listen, four eyes, don't get up from that table again until you've eaten every last bite of your breakfast!

Katie/Lois: Don't listen to me! I'm not me--shut up!

Lois: I'm fine.
Clark: Are you sure? I mean, are you sure?

Lois: What?! Clark! After everything we've been through -- invading aliens, alternate universes, machines that suck the youth out of you-you think the one thing that is going to make me see flying pots is meat??!!

Lois: She never thought she was pretty. She gained some weight and her husband used to tease her about it. <gasp> She was murdered! Right here in this room.

Herbie: What did they call you when you resembled the living?
Katie: My friends used to call me Katie. What friends I had.

Perry (looking at the book Lois is reading): How to Raise the Dead.
Lois: I get tired of novels.

Jimmy: I got it! I got it!
Perry: Tuna and rye, right?
Jimmy: Un, no. I'll call the delivery place, Chief.
Perry: Oh, doesn't anybody work here anymore?

Lois: Life was that tough?
Katie: Well, I was beaten to death with a blunt instrument, so in that sense, yes.

Herbie: Katie, it's time to avenge your death.
Katie (nodding in agreement): Mmm hmm.

Clark: How was she? As scary as when she possessed you?
Lois: Clark, she's a ghost. She's scary.

Superman: The way I hear it, you don't have a choice. Your killer has been found.

Katie: Seems I made my best friend, my only friend, after I left this life. Bummer.

Katie: I'll see both of you on the other side.
Herbie (later): Nice to know while we're in prison, we hav something to look forward to.

Lois: And you can just get that look off your face.
Clark: What look?
Lois: The look that says, Oh my God, Lois just cooked something and I have to eat it.

Lois: Did I get egg on you? Let me wipe that off.

Ralph: Circulation problems.
Jimmy: Heart?
Ralph: Subscriptions. Down 30%.

Lois: Can we make a pact? We'll be okay? No matter what?
Clark: No matter what.

Perry: So the new editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet is Lois Lane.
Lois: Yes! I mean, wow!

Clark: My wife, the boss.
Lois: I still can't believe it.

Clark: I'm kinda looking forward to sleeping with the boss.

Ethan: He silenced our childhood hero, Lex Luthor.
Eric: He died a year ago. You're just now realizing that?

Eric: You're sick!
Ethan: I take after dad's side.

Martha: What, is she running the newspaper now?
Clark: Actually, yes, she is.

Perry: What's not to like? More money, less hours.

Ralph: You read that stuff already?
Clark: Uh, speed reading classes.

Ethan: Remember Sunday school? Cain and Abel? I always preferred Cain.

Lois: I think you have a real problem with the fact that I wear the tights - pants! I mean, pants in the family.

Martha: Just because you're not partners now doesn't mean you're not a team.

Scientist: If it's all the same to you, I'd like to run for my life now.

Ethan: Amazing, isn't it? Out of all of the villians who've wanted you dead, I am going to be the one to pull it off. A spoiled dilatant with too much time on my hands. Lex would be so proud.

Ethan: No! Superman: Oh, yes.

Superman: What are you doing here?
Lois: I came to save you.
Superman: Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?
Lois: Are you okay?
Superman: I am now.

Eric: Great. Wait till dad finds out about this. He's gonna kill us.

Perry: Oh, I love the smell of ink in the morning.
Jimmy: But it's not morning.
Perry: Oh, Jimmy, I know that, it just doesn't sound as good otherwise.

Perry: Truth is, I miss the newsroom soemthing awful.

Perry: Here's what I propose. Lois, you and I, both run the newspaper together. Partners. Editors-in-chief. What do you say?
Lois: I'd say I already have a partner.

Clark: Are you saying if you had to do it again, you wouldn't kill my story?
Lois: I'd kill it in a second. If I were editor.

Clark: It's gonna be a great Christmas.
Lois: How do you know?
Clark: Because, it's Christmas

Clark: You do Christmas like a chore, like it's something to get through.

Lois: I'm confusing the 12 days of Christmas with the seven deadly sins, aren't I?

Mxyzptlk: It's that moment, just as I go through the international time warp, it gives me a brain freeze.

Mxyzptlk: Stand back, boys. There's a new imp in town.

Ralph: Merry Christmas! I really love you guys the most!
Clark: Merry Christmas, Ralph.
Ralph: Hey, Beth Ann! Merry Christmas. I love you the most.

Perry: I will say this about your wife, Kent. Confidence is something that she does not lack.

Lois: That's seven for Christmas dinner.
Clark (to his parents): Lois is learning how to just relax and enjoy the holidays.

Jonathan: Would you like some 'nog?
Everyone: She's an alcoholic . .. recovering.

Mxyzptlk: Have you ever had 5th dimensional beer?
Bar customer: I'm not much for imports.

Bartender: You here for the holidays?
Mxyzptlk: No, I'm here for good. Nobody is sending me back.

Mxyzptlk: I'm going to become the absolute ruler of absolutely everything.
Bartender: Ah. World conquerer. Tall order.

Mxyzptlk: Superman is a symbol of hope. That's his whole thing. See, you take away hope, and he's the symbol of nothing. See, a world without hope is powerless!
Bartender: Get rid of hope? How do you plan on doing that?
Mxyzptlk: Simple, take away tomorrow. No tomorrow, no hope.
Bartender: Take away tomorrow? How?
Mxyzptlk: Why, it's as easy as . . . (vaporizes the bartender)

Clark: Sometimes I forget that not everybody sees things the way I do.
Lois: Clark, nobody sees things the way you do.

Mxyzptlk: Ah, Christmas eve. The longest night of the year for good little children. And men in tights.

Clark: You're the one who's been following me.
Mxyzptlk: Oh! You peeked!

Martha: Remember about your cholesterol!
Jonathan: Crops failed, bank hasn't called. Cholesterol may be all I have left.

Clark: There it is again.
Lois: There what is?
Clark: Bank alarm.
Lois: Well, you should go, shouldn't you?
Clark: Yeah, I better.

Clark: What have you done with time?
Mxyzptlk: I ... flipped it. I burped it. I took away tomorrow.
Clark: Why?
Mxyzptlk: To get rid of hope. No tomorrow means no hope. Or no hope means no tomorrow.
Clark: Yeah, but why are you doing this?
Mxyzptlk: Because I'm staying here in the 3rd dimension. And nobody's making me go back.

Clark: I live within three-dimensional time.
Mxyzptlk: Right, but I kept you out for a reason, Mr. Invulnerable. Mr. You-Can't-Squish-Me-With-The-Biggest-Rock-You-Can-Conjure. I wanted to show you there ain't nothing you can do to stop me.

Clark: You're feeling anxious about your story, aren't you?
Lois: I mean, it's garbage.
Clark: No, Lois, it's not! It's great!

Superman: Becoming a felon isn't any gift for your wife. I'd catch you. And frankly, I'm getting sick of it.
Bank robber: What?

Mxyzptlk: Look, Mr. Goody Two Boots. I'm not doing anything to them. It's just nature running its course.

Mxyzptlk: Clock's ticking . .. so to speak.

Mxyzptlk: Well, it's up to you. Do you stay and become the ruination of all these mortals? Or do you accept banishment and leave their world to me? And spare them the suffering?
Clark: I love these people. And that's why I'm not going anywhere.
Mxyzptlk: Do you have to be hit over the head with a shelalee? Don't you get it? It's hopeless!
Clark: There's always a little bit of hope left in the human spirit. And I'll find it.
Lois: You heard him gnome! Scram!
Myxmas: You're supposed to be frozen!
Lois: Yeah, well, I thawed out. And Clark's not going anywhere, mazel tov.
Mxyzptlk: Mr. Mxyzptlkpidalick! Mr. Mxyzptlkpidalick! Fine. Have it your way!

Jonathan: We're gonna lose our farm. I can't relax.
Lois: Yes, you can. I'll show you how. Wait here. (later) Ommmmmmmm
Jonathan and Martha; Ommmmm
Lois: That's right. You're doing really good.

Mxyzptlk: What is this?
Children (seeing him appear): Wow!
Martha: C'mon everybody! Sing one more time. Jingle bells! Jingle bells!
Mxyzptlk: They're not supposed to be delighted!

Mxyzptlk: Kltpzyxm. That's Mxyzptlk backwards! Oh, no!

Lois; It's happening.
Clark: What?
Lois: This. It's magic. It's just like you said. I mean, I may not be able to see through walls, but right this second. I feel like I can see everything through your eyes.
Clark: Then you're the lucky one, 'cause I'm looking at you.

Clark: Are you sure you don't moonlight as a dealer in Vegas?
Lois: Some people just have a better card sense than others.
Clark: Okay. I will see your shirt and I will raise you everything else you have on.
Lois: I'll call. What've you got?
Clark: Full house. Read 'em and weep.
Lois: Two pair.
Clark: Yes!

Lois: You didn't happen to use any of your buzz buzz, did you?
Clark: Lois, I would never use a little buzz buzz to cheat at cards.
Lois: Better shuffle them up while you're hot. Get ready to taste the agony of ... (Clark hears something) oh no.

Clark: I hiccuped and our house turned into the Poseidon Adventure.

Clark: Do you think you could go solo for a while?

Superman: I'm not used to being patient.

Superman: Thanks to your--
Lois: Big mouth!

Lois: What happened?
Clark: I hiccuped. Then I held my breath and swallowed a teaspoon of sugar like my mom taught me when I was a kid.

Lois: You mean this photo could be a fake?!?
Jimmy: Well, yeah. But you already knew that.
Lois: Uh, yeah . . . well, of course I knew it . . . I, I, I just didn't know if you did . . . know it, I mean . . . if you knew it was a fake.

Barry Dunning: Then you are familiar with my show . . . ?
Lois: Yeah, riveting journalism. Especially the show on ‘Cross Dressing Cousins and the Has-been Child Stars Who Love Them'.

Lois: They're calling me ‘Super Strumpet'?
Barry Dunning: Would you care to comment?
Lois: . . . No!

Lois: The truth means nothing to you! All you're interested in is sleeze! You're a disgrace to legitimate reporters like Clark and myself and you are not going to get what you are digging for here vulture boy. I'm not going to give you some sound byte that you can twist and turn. Whatever my relationship with Superman is nobody's damn business but my own. So get out of my face!

Superman: Everything that I am, everything that I do is a reflection of that truth. As Superman, I have never nor will I ever discredit that.

Lawyer: Are you having an illicit affair with Lois Lane?
Superman: The truth is . . . no. I am not nor have I ever had an illicit affair with Lois Lane.

Tempus: Can we move this along? I'm breaking out this morning.

Asylum Resident: So, I gather you still believe that you're from the future?
Tempus: Duh.

Tempus: Because you are, in a word, looney toons!.
Inmate: Looney toons is two words.
Tempus: Not if you say it fast.

Andrus: I will read the list of charges . . .
Tempus: Blatant disregard for human life, blah, blah, blah. Can we go?

Tempus: Oh God, it's starting to come back to me. They all talk like you in the future, don't they?

Lois: This is the most uneventful election year in my memory. If things don't pick up, we're going to be doing restaurant reviews.

Tempus: I borrowed mine . . . well all right, stole it then.

Tempus: With this device I can implant subliminal messages into the feeble minds of the masses thereby controlling their collective will. That enough exposition for you or shall I go on?

Clark: (reading)'Do it yourself Last Will and Testament' . . . Sweetheart, is there something you'd like to share?

Lois: Well, this year alone I have been shot at, strapped to explosives and electrocuted. If anyone needs a will made out, it's me.

Perry: Is anyone working on this story?
Lois: I'm on it, Chief.
Perry: Well work faster. I want an exclusive on this. I want to find out what makes this man tick. What he stands for...and most of all, why is he such a ‘darn nice guy'?

Clark: This morning, everyone thought John Doe was a joke.
Jimmy: You really shouldn't say that about John Doe, CK. I mean, he's such a darn nice guy.

Lois: It's exciting, isn't it?
Clark: I don't get it.
Lois: What's not to get? John Doe's campaign is catching fire. His message is resonating with the people. It cuts across all barriers.
Clark: Message? Lois, what message?
Lois: Well, you know.

Lois: . . . See, we looked and we weren't able to find anything.
Tempus/John Doe: No skeletons in the closet?
Lois: No closet.

Clark: Mr Doe, has anyone ever told you that you bear a striking resemblance to . . . someone else?
Tempus: Just who else would I look like, Mr. Kent?
Clark: A nihilistic sociopath from the future who will stop at nothing to quench his bitter thirst for power.
Lois: (laughs uneasily) For example.
Tempus: It is said we all have a twin someplace in the world. Why Mr. Kent, without those glasses, I'd say you'd look exactly like . . . well, duh.

Lois: Clark, make love to me.

Clark: Lois, you don't need a will . . .

Tempus: If you Kent . . . I mean can't . . .

Garner: Well, I'm off to dedicate a mini-mall.

Tempus: If you'll excuse me, I have babies to kiss!

Tempus: The Amish are not your friends, they are anti-John Doe. Boycott their quilts, they are overpriced, and the workmanship is shoddy anyway. Oh, and John Doe is a darn nice guy.

Inmate: I'm not nuts . . . I'm Superman.

Herb: You're a fiend beyond comprehension!
Tempus: And a good dancer, but enough small talk.

Lois: You are dirt! You are filth! You are pocket lint! You are pocket lint in the pockets of lawyers!

Tempus: What do you think this is? A family TV show? Only UN-happy endings allowed here.

Tempus: I know what you've done you treasonous little bug! You've imported that muscle-locked boy scout from that other universe to this one.
H.G. Wells: The power of the human spirit cannot be confined to one time or place. It's everywhere.
Tempus: Oh save that drivel for your over-rated novels!

Tempus: With me as the papa.
People: Papa!!
Tempus: And you as the kiddies.
People: Kiddies!!

Alt-Clark: Is this how it is with the two of you -- working together like this?
Lois: Yeah.
Alt-Clark: Wow.

Tempus: Or that. You could do that.

Tempus: Get in that time machine and take that overstuffed pair of tights back where he came from!

Lois: I know this sounds awful, but I really don't want you here.

Tempus: Let's see, I could shoot you or hang you on the spot . . . but what's the fun in that?

Tempus: You make a very attractive widow.

Lois: Oh, this is unforgiveable!
Alt-Clark: Uh, I'm so sorry!
Lois: Just shameful!
Alt-Clark: I'm really sorry.
Lois: No, not you. Me. I, I almost kissed you. How could I almost kiss you?
Alt-Clark: No, I almost kissed you.
Lois: No, I almost kissed you.
Alt-Clark: No, believe me, I . . .
Lois: Fine! We almost kissed us!

Lois: You can go to the alternate universe.
Tempus: Where Mr. ‘I'm-so-in-shape' can return me to prison?

Jonathan: Who are you?
Wells: I'm H.G. Wells.
Jonathan: The writer? Aren't you dead?
Wells: Only some of the time.

Wells: Anticipating your villany, I have adjusted the machine so that only I can operate it . . .
Tempus: While you were anticipating my villany, I was anticipating your anticipation and have begun implementation of an even more insidious plan.

Tempus: I'll go rule the Alternate Earth. It's almost as good, better in fact, for its Superman will be trapped here; hero to a lifeless planet.

Herb: I refuse to believe that anything so diabolical could be so easy.
Tempus: Well, that's the Protestant in you.

Tempus: Dragon, Herb, you scamps . . .

Clark: You know, he's right; I am the luckiest man alive.
Lois: Mmmm . . .

Lois: It's you.
Tempus: Well, I would have preferred 'Hail to the Chief' but all in good time.

Wells: Forgive me if I gloat.

Tempus: Well, you're just Little Miss Spunky, aren't you?

Garner: Hi, Lois, I heard you were visiting.
Lois: I'm not visiting. I'm his prisoner!
Tempus: Ah, Lois, ever the funster. Stop, my sides are splitting.

Tempus: All that spandex must keep his blood from his brain.

Tempus: Why, Lois! You look nervous! Contemplate your future as a charbroiled brickette. It's soothing.

Tempus: Any last words, Tempus? Why yes, glad you asked. It's time you chowder heads all got let in on a little secret. This, Superman of yours, this . . . chisled god, is in relality, Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. In chess, this is where I would say, check.
Clark: Uh, honey, I think the media would like us to comment on Mr. Tempus' last remark.
Lois: We regret that Mr. Tempus' mental health has not improved. He's obviously still delusional.
Superman: This is where I would say, checkmate.
Tempus: No! You cretins! He really is Clark Kent! One of them is from another dimensoin! I mean, it's obvious! Duh!

Lois: I am obsessively in love with Clark Kent.

Lois: We know she spends her nights playing kissing bandit with local superheroes!

Clark: You know what pasta does to me.

Jimmy: Are we going to be making a lot of noise?

Penny: Beneath all that spandex beats the heart of a man!

Penny's friend: Why waste time on some fantasy?

Clark: You should see her with silverware . . . not a pretty sight, so we'll just . . . take these away.

Lois: We never get to spend anytime together anymore. Do you realize that it has been over a week since we made love?
Clark: Eight days, six hours, four minutes, and two seconds; but who's counting?

Clark: Lois, come back to the table.

Superman: You look very happy and healthy. Got to fly!

Lois: And Superman would feel all the good . . .
Clark (while kissing Lois): Mmm, Superman feels real good right now . . .
Lois: I know he does . . .

Jimmy: I made a solemn oath to use my powers for good, never for . . . dinner.

Lois: A high profile astronaut doesn't just disappear 36 hours before a mission.
Perry: Exactly. I want you and Clark on this yesterday . . . Ah, where is Clark?
Lois: Uh . . . dry cleaners. They gave him the wrong shirts.

Clark: . . . Superman couldn't really say 'no'.
Lois: Doesn't seem to be in his vocabulary.

Mr. Pallodin: With six thousand man-made objects floating around out there, it's getting pretty crowded.
Clark: Tell me about it.

Lois: Mr. Pallodin, the Office of Information seems to have anything but.
Mr. P: An internal investigation is being conducted.
Clark: Oh, great...Could you tell us the nature of the investigation?
Mr. P: Certainly. It's . . . internal.

Jimmy: I don't even own a blue suit. But I will definitely get one!

Lois: Unless, of course . . . You don't think he was playing in a golf tournament and forgot to tell anybody about it?
Clark: Oh, you're still mad about that?
Lois: I was never . . . mad.
Clark: Honey, you were mad.
Lois: OK, maybe I was.

Lois: Superman has a day planner?
Clark: Honey, could you say that a little louder? I don't think everybody heard you.

Clark: (to Jimmy) Nice suit! Very . . . blue.

Clark: That ashy residue found at the scene of McBride's disappearance.
Lois: Did they find out what it was?
Clark: Yeah . . . Steve McBride.

Bad Guy: Perhaps vaporizing Captain McBride wasn't the right approach. People are starting to ask questions.

Lois: Wow! I knew you got postcards and an occasional batch of oatmeal scotchies, but this?

Clark: . . . these little things recharge me.
Lois: Oh . . . I thought I did that.
Clark: Honey, you sustain me.

Lois: Is that lipstick?
Clark: Huh? Oh yeah, it's the weirdest thing . . . 'cause this stuff from the oil fire came right out; but this is . . . Oh, there was a crazy woman who sort of attacked me, but . . . I mean, I got away. It was no big deal.
Lois: Oh? Well, good.

Lois: OK . . . Now if we could just get to that sound proofing device, a couple of healthy 'Help, Supermans' and we're home free.

Lois: You think Superman is Jimmy Olsen?
Penny: I know it's a shock Ms. Lane, seeing as how you work with him everyday. But yes, Jimmy Olsen is really . . . the Man of Steel.
Lois: Ha! Girlfriend, we are not out of this yet!

Perry: I knew the only way to pull off a surprise was to surprise both of you. So, did it work? Are you surprised?
Clark: . . . Yeah.
Lois: . . . Stunned.

Clark: Maybe we'll have superbabies, who knows!

Clark: Oops, oops, here he comes.

Vixen: Nice cape.

Vixen: I am Vixen. I eradicate evil.

Vixen: They say you're faster than a speeding bullet. Is that true?

Vixen: I want to help bring order to your violent world.

Vixen: I'm impressed. Although I don't understand the blue suit. It's not very intimidating.

Leslie: So tell me, what's it like working with a celebrated reporter like Lois Lane day in and day out?
Jimmy: Lois? It's great, she's incredible. I'm the luckiest guy I know. Except for Clark, he's uh, way luckier than me, if you know what I mean.

Lois: You're a busy woman, was it like this for you with Andrew and Anne and Charles?

Lois: How's it going out there, your holiness? I'd better go check on the pope . . .

Leslie Luckebee: My philosophy has always been the best way to lead is from behind.

Leslie: You work out a lot, don't you.

The Troll: Sorry to talk your ear off. I don't get out much you know.

Troll: I don't care what anybody says. Nobody writes opera like Puccini.

Cop: Maybe we can get that new super hero to help find the guy that this hair belongs to.

Jimmy: I hate this job!
Leslie: Better not say that too loud, the owner might overhear you.

Vixen: Whatever. You do it your way, I'll do it mine.
Superman: No, you won't do it at all.

Cop on News: There she stood in all her glory. Like a Wonderwoman or something. Only in leather with a gold V on her, you know her chest area. Even Superman was surprised.
Jimmy: Hey CK, have you heard about this new super chick? (sees Lois) I mean gal, girl? Woman? In town?
Lois: Jimmy, do me a favor. Go drool over at your desk . . . (Jimmy leaves, in a few moments Lois turns to Clark) So what's the deal with this babe?

Jimmy: Leslie thinks she might related to Ultrawoman, remember her?
Lois: Rings a few bells.
Clark: Ultrawoman! Yeah, she was beautiful. No offense, honey, I'm sorry but she was absolutely stunning.

Perry: This could be the biggest story since Superman came to town. By the by, where is that husband of yours.
Lois: Oh, you know, he's . . .
TV news: Superman and Vixen were seen together in China. As a matter of fact, reports from all over the world seem to indicate that the man of steel . . .
Lois: On top of things.
Perry: Oh great shades of Elvis!
TV news: An amateur video captured him wrestling with her in what appeared to be a playful manner.
Jimmy: All right, Superman!
Leslie: Well, it looks like he's found himself a mate.
Perry: Oh, it's about time.
Lois: I don't think it looks like he's found himself a mate! Superman would never cheat on his . . . principles. He's far above that kind of tawdry behavior, everybody knows that.
Leslie: I meant 'mate' as in 'friend.'
Lois: Oh, Australia.
Leslie: Right.
Lois: Right.

Lois: Where did that come from?
Clark: Look at you, Miss Innocent. You attacked me, that's where that came from.
Lois: I remember being in the kitchen, browning the sausages, and then you came in, and then the rest is a blur.
Clark: Well, I am Superman. Man of Steel.
Lois: Oh Clark, if you only knew how different you are from other men. I forget and then . . . I forgot!
Clark: What?
Lois: I forgot, you know.
Clark: So we didn't use precautions, I mean, I know I didn't.
Lois: Me neither. I wasn't thinking.
Clark: So...
Lois: We're sort of pioneers in this area, I can't say that we're completely safe.
Clark: Well honey, if it happens, then it happens.
Lois: But I'm not even absolutely sure that it can happen. Well maybe you should talk to Dr. Klein and find out.
Clark: Yeah, I, oh, I gotta go. We'll talk about this later. I love you.

Dr. Klein: What's on your mind?
Superman: A woman.
Dr. Klein: A woman?
Superman: I'm seeing one.
Dr. Klein: Seeing?
Superman: You know, dating.
Dr. Klein: Dating? You're dating?
Superman: Well, yeah. Yeah. And I have a few questions.
Dr. Klein: No one has ever sat you down and explained these things before? All right, what I'm about to say may shock you.
Superman: No. No. No. No. What I need to know is, if this woman and I got serious . . .
Dr. Klein: Is this anyone I know?
Superman: Do you think we'd have enough biological compatibility to have children?
Dr. Klein: What? Uh, well, uh, well, the thing is, while in many ways you resemble an Earth human, your biology is clearly different. You couldn't donate blood, for instance. Determining whether you could father a child here would require careful testing.
Superman: Okay.
Dr. Klein: Meanwhile, any relations with your honey must be conducted with extreme caution.
Superman: Of course.
Dr. Klein: Uh, you know what I mean by caution?
Superman: Yeah.
Dr. Klein: Okay. All right.
Superman: Thanks.
Dr. Klein: Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
(Superman flies off)
Dr. Klein: Wow. Who knew.

Lois: I can't believe that the first time I looked into your eyes, I didn't instantly know that you were the man I would spend the rest of my life with.

Lois: Kryptonite will have nothing on me.

Jimmy: It doesn't matter how much money you have. When your time's up, it's up!

Clark: I just came back from Star Labs.
Lois: Really? Well, you could've just called me. What did Doctor Klein say? Oh, you couldn't just call me . . . 'cos the news isn't good.
Clark: Doctor Klein ran every possible test he could. The poor guy could barely even face me . . . but he told me that Superman's biology and an Earthwoman's are incompatible for reproduction. I told myself I'd never make you cry. I'm sorry.
Lois: I feel so confused. I feel like I lost something I never really had.
Clark: We haven't lost anything honey.
Lois: You can't try to make me feel better. It's what you always try to do with everything and it's sweet but I know how much you want kids.
Clark: I want you to hear me . . . I mean, really hear me. Everytime, everytime we make love, we make love. That's the strongest lifeforce there is and whether or not that results in another little person, for me, it is creation.
Lois: Oh Clark.
Clark: You fill me with life.

Clark: Caught me. I came down for a glass of milk and I just sorta noticed this stting here.
Lois: I know. You know how I get when I want to fix something?
Clark: Well, first you eat a lot of chocolate while you figure out your next move.
Lois: (holds up an empty wrapper) Check.
Clark: Then you get that real determined look on your face, sorta like you've got right now. And then the seas part.
Lois: Listen, we have come through almost every conceivable disaster through inconceivable means. And if conceiving is what we want, then I think we're going to have to be fearless once again.

Sam: That's humanly impossible.
Clark: Exactly.

Clark: Lois is a complete professional. Someone who cares very, very much about this world. Frankly, she's the best person that I know. Any child that's lucky enough to have Lois as a mother is the luckiest child alive.

Misha: I'm not a crackpot!
Martha: No dear, trust me, you are.

Clark: This is why I love you.
Lois: Because I'm crabby.
Clark: No, because you never give up.

Ellen: Hello, Superman. Ellen Lane!

Ellen: Wait a minute . . . his parents . . . I know what the secret is!

Lois: Clark, I'm so sorry.
Clark: For what?
Lois: That daddy can't find anything wrong with Star Labs data. He doesn't think we'll be able to have kids.
Clark: Honey, I have not for one second doubted in us. We live the impossible. A child is something brought about by love. Well, then that above all else has got to be possible for us.

Lois: What does it sound like?
Clark: I can't actually believe what it sounds like.

Clark: Mom and Dad . . . and Mom and Dad . . . we have something to tell you.