This page is just a smorgasbord of things that tickled my funny bone when I was on the Loiscla listserv. These are all random and on most of them, you can probably figure out what context they're in.
Most recent entries at the bottom of the page
We all know that Clark is genetically programmed to answer a ringing telephone (cf. "The Foundling," when he picks up the phone even though he is the middle of an intense argument with Lois). It's a little-known fact that telephone operators are at the top of the Kryptonian hierarchy.
Does Clark, in a fit of frustration, ask the globe to give him answers? And then the globe activates, and Jor-El answers, "Why, yes, Clark, you and Zara were betrothed as babies here on Krypton. Didn't we mention that? Lara! Didn't you tell Clark he and Zara are betrothed?" "Me?! You wouldn't even let me talk! How was I supposed to tell him?" "Well, you should have reminded me!" "If you hadn't been so busy getting your hair to look 'just so', maybe I could have. I swear, I have never seen a man so vain!" "Is it so bad that I'd want to look good on the only record of me for eternity? . . . Anyway, Clark, yes, you and Zara are betrothed. Frankly, I thought it was a pretty dumb idea what with the planet about to blow up and all . . . but, [whispers] your mother insisted." :)
We ought to get L&C stranded on a rock someplace. Maybe they'd talk a bit too. Okay so maybe there wouldn't be that much talking. Okay, so words are highly overrated :P
And the other one whose title escapes me (you can tell how impressed I was).
Tenney's got skinny arms like TH does... ;)
There was only part that caused me to curl up and groan, and that was in the end when Ching
said "What have I done (really pathetic, pathetic look) He is the one." It reminded me
of . . . hmmm . . . how to best illustrate . . .
"Oh Charles . . . "
"Oh . . . Sarah . . . "
"How have I ever lived without you my sweet . . . "
"No no, don't speak, that wound near you heart . . . it bleeds!"
"Oh my darling . . . "
"Charles . . . "
Okay so that was pathetic. But so was that scene[g]. Lets move on . . .
DC was touching his nose a lot and it didn't click until this morning, but during his AOL chat people had asked him to acknowledge them with that kind of gesture, so although it may just be an itchy nose, it seems like he was acknowledging the on-line fans. (yeah!?)
But strange as it may seem to us [g], there are millions of people out there who probably don't follow breathlessly every facet of LNC or of Dean's and Teri's career.
CK, later, at Lois's apartment: "I don't know if I can do this."
Me, groaning: "Then don't."
Lois: If you can return, you will."
CK: "You have so much faith in me."
Me: "Don't remind her of Lex or Max . . . "
They were going down onto the floor while kissing. What were they going to do, play Scrabble? :)
Well, no, but I did see Teri say [F-word] it as Lois Lane with a big smile on her face when she blew a line repeatedly [g] That doesn't even compare to Dean being lowered on cables in the Superman costume to the snow (Season's Greedings) refusing to unfold his arms, and thus falling face down in the snow and then shooting the one finger salute with a big smile on his face to the guy handling the cables ;) Both of these scenes pale by comparison to the blooper from the Prankster where Clark is supposed to move the dozing head of Lois Lane closer to him, however, Dean, not the boy scout that Clark is, did not grab her head. I won't say what he grabbed, but it was real, and spectacular, and earned Dean a smack in the chest from a laughing Teri Hatcher. Dean, undaunted, did not release his grip, but made a wicked grin at the camera, and pulled Teri down on the couch. We can only hope that Clark feels a similar urge when returning from NK (splash, yes, the gutter calls . . . )
(Metropolis) After numerous unsuccessful attempts to cure Superman's kryptonite allergy by
orthodox medical treatments, Superman's potentially fatal sensitivity to kryptonite was finally
cured by a practitioner at the Metropolis Holistic Health Center.
Beaming with superhealth, the superhero noted that getting cured was not an easy task. "I had
to try many different healing methods and numerous healers before I found the right one for me."
Superman was first attracted to the holistic health center because one of the practitioners was a
mega-vitamin therapy expert. "I figured that I needed super-vitamins for my super bod,"
Superman noted in a matter of fact manner.
This treatment might have worked; however, the superhero could not follow the instructions of
the therapist. Superman bashfully said, "It was just too difficult to take the vitamins regularly.
I just felt too embarrassed flying around with 18 vitamin bottled stuffed in my little red pants."
Superman then tried acupuncture which also ended in failure. The acupuncturist had to apologize
for not being strong enough to put needles through the man of steel's skin.
The rolfer didn't help Superman either and was, in fact, lucky that Superman could quickly fly
him to the hospital for repair of the rolfer's fractured wrists and elbows from trying to rolf the
supermuscle Superman.
The biofeedback therapist was able to teach Superman how to lower his blood pressure and how
to raise voluntarily the temperature in his hand, but because Superman's second half is as "a mild
manner reporter of a great metropolitan newspaper," he didn't have high blood pressure. And
sadly enough, learning to warm his hands only taught him how to warm his hands. It didn't affect
his allergy to kryptonite.
The movement therapist was able to teach Superman to run and fly with more grace, and the
aerobics teacher was able to teach him to run faster, but these teachings only taught him how to
run and fly gracefully and speedily away from kryptonite...not curing the underlying allergy.
Then, during a deep breathing exercise with the Reichian therapist, Superman blew the roof off
the holistic health center, thus leading him to leave the center with a great sense of guilt...and
a still problematic allergy to kryptonite.
Finally...WonderWoman came to rescue!
The liberated superhero told Superman that many of her friends got excellent care at the holistic
health center. She told Superman that, "They cured Spiderman's drooling, cleared up the Invisible
Man's skin complexion, and even finally deepened Mighty Mouse's squeaky voice." She also
noted that Darth Vader still has his mumbling problem, but he needs deep Freudian analysis.
These superheroes, WonderWoman asserted, all went to the homeopath, who ultimately gave
Superman a highly dilute dose of kryptonite, thus curing his serious kryptonite allergy and
allowing him to star in yet another amazing adventure of Superman.
>Does anybody know the name of any porn movies which
>Lois reputedly appeared in? If so are
>there any mpeg/jpeg shots available on the Net?
Lois Lane has never been in a porn movie to the best of my knowledge. She is reportedly working on a steamy novel though :)
There is a conference room scene in Illusions of Grandeur I think (I have a hard time rewatching that one :) where Cat Grant has an amazing resealing banana. She has it pealed in one scene, and I supposed due to modesty, it seals itself back up.
Our Lois would never make such a mistake. Let's blame the script writers :)
I remember thinking "Zoomway" was some weird online cult Guru (BOY was I right on about that or what? [G])
I always thought that Lex was after more than a kiss and given any kind of vague encouragement, he'd have dismissed the limo driver and stayed for coffee.
I'm very interested to see how TPTB play it out! Are Ching and Zara really from New Krypton? Are they Kryptonian at all? Enquiring minds want to know! :-) Was there ever a pre-arranged marriage? Do New Kryptonians use butter or margarine? Do they have TV and, if so, do they show reruns? :-)
Anyway, Lois P. bemoaned the fact that she didn't think to bring back a blank yurt-card for the
folcfest.
Ah well, I could certainly include the one sent to me. But, It does have a message on the back
(although not a potentially embarrassing one.) It's not as if the card says: "Dear Sandy, Here
are the Iraqi invasion plans...."
That's not interesting, or daring . . . That's smart! If I was a good-looking man, starring in a movie with Drew Barrymore, I'd pretend to be gay too. If I was on the Jay Leno show with her, I'd pretend to be gay . . . Just walking down the street . . . "Sorry Drew, I'm gay." Same goes for Madonna, except with her, it wouldn't matter. Frankly, you'd have to be into something downright weird to deter her. Can't even imagine what it is.
Okay I'm not supposed to be here responding to this [g] But give Demi access to a laptop and two spare minutes . . . ;)
I remember once, Clark was leaning over Lois' desk (woo woo ;) and you could see the cuff of his suit slack had come up and his socks were exposed along with a tiny bit of flesh (ooo, Zoomie pull me out of the gutter ;)
Hi, FOLCS, I have some sad news to report which might be a bad omen for the show. My
kitten, Lane, who is 3.5 months old knocked over my fish's bowl, and his name was Clark. Well,
poor Clark died and was reduced to a dessicated, little blue slab. :( Someone at work suggested
that this might not bode well for the show. Just thought I'd share my tragedy.
Annemarie ("Lane kills Clark, film at 11")
There are so many wonderful WAFFs, it would take pages to list them all (fear not, I'm not going to--I have to pack :)
I remember someone posting to the list (I don't remember who) saying that 3 7/8 was because there were 3 7/8 episodes left in season three . . . and then someone else said it was ABC's combined IQ, but . . . :P
In my job I work with mice every day. I set up matings and check for pregnancy and stuff
like that. There are a few "rules" you must follow when doing things like this: #1 is that you
cannot put two adult male mice in the same cage. They are very territorial and will fight,
especially if there is a female in the cage already. So, after watching Dan's intro into Lois-n-
Clarkdom in Resurrection, I couldn't help but think about Dan and Clark and Lois . . . :-)
#2 is more an observation than a rule. Say you have a guy mouse in a cage with a
girl mouse. The guy mouse's entire purpose in life is to . . . . well, you know. Sometimes
the guy mouse just can't do anything. There could be any number of explanations: girl
mouse isn't in the mood (there are a few reasons why), guy mouse isn't in the mood (really
and truly, this is rarely the case), the cage just doesn't smell right, or maybe the guy mouse
just becomes best friends with the girl mouse. :-)
Now, if you drop another guy mouse in the cage, things get pretty hot for a while --
the guy mice go at it, squeaking and jumping and pulling at each other's hair while the girl
mouse sits back and watches. But remember rule #1 -- can't have two guy mice in the same
cage.
Now the girl mouse has not gotten pregnant, which is her entire purpose in life. So
you, as the omnipotent being controlling the show, put the girl mouse in a new cage with the
new guy mouse. New guy mouse (shall we just go ahead and call him Dan?) sniffs around a
bit, and decides to make his move. But wait!!!! The omnipoten Being controlling the show
receives word that this in not right! A mistake has been made. A review of breeding show
carts (ratings) reveals that Dan is not the mouse for our girl mouse (shall we call her Lois?) --
the first guy mouse (Clark?) is who we want! The omnipotent Being races to rectify the
problem! Faster than a speeding bullet, Lois is pulled from Dan's cage . . . is she pregnant? .
. . . . . . . No!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!! (while a mouse's 2 and 1/2 week gestation period is very short,
and she can get pregnant the night after she delivers, waiting that long for the correct
breeding can be a pain)
Lois is placed back in Clark's cage. Now when a female is first placed in a cage with
a male, the male sniffs to see if she's been with another male. If he detects a male presence
he will often decide to mate just to prove his manly-mouseness. Clark comes up to Lois and
sniffs. "Hmmmm . . . . I smell that rat (little mouse humor there) Dan! I must show Lois
that I am a manly-mouse and mate with her!" Lois says to Clark, "Are you sure, Clark? You
didn't pay me this kind of attention for a long time. You're not going to run away and
burrow in the bedding chips are you?"
Well, as you know from the WAFF filled end of WWW and ATAI, Lois mouse did
get pregnant and have lots of WAFF babies . . . . . ;-)
>Now if only we could think of a good,
>interesting "relationship roadblock" that doesn't
>involve any more Superman-hating, plunger-wielding love interests . . .
Hey, I've got one! This might be crazy, but what if Lois actually found out that Clark is Superman? I know, I know, it's crazy, but it just might work! ;)
Killing Superman in the past kills Clark, no matter where he is in the time stream,
but it does absolutely nothing to Lois, whose life he has saved many times. Maybe in
the alternate future, Lois is a librarian. Worse, it does nothing to Tempus, who
has to be the dumbest time travel criminal in history - trying to kill someone by
erasing their past, because that person is responsible FOR THEIR PRESENT. Think about that.
For me, this very critical logical point underminds Tempus' entire motivation, unless he
is completely insane. Even HG should have simply tapped him on the shoulder and said, "uh,
look, if you kill Superman in the past, you expect him to disappear in the present, right?
Just exactly what do you expect to happen to yourself?"
Since no time travel is possible, it's hard for me to get into the compatibility of
any of them. It's almost like getting back into Santa and trying to ascribe science to
his myth . . . "he laid a finger aside his nose . . . up the chimney he rose" That sounds
like Santa used the gym coach one nostril hanky method. Santa must have some high
velocity expectorant to shoot him up through a chimney.
I always saw Santa as the best gift my parents gave me. The memory of Santa lingered long
after the pogo stick rusted and the Monopoly set lost half its hotels and playing pieces under
my bed (where I unwisely tossed a Mr. Potato Head once [made with a real potato] and saw vines
sprouting from my toy drawer). Once I learned the 'truth' about Santa, my parents
promoted me to 'elf'. This meant I got to stay up late on Christmas Eve and put together miles
of train track, and eat the Santa cookies my little brother had left out. When my brother grew
to the age of the 'truth' he became an elf for my nephew.
Maybe the best story of someone learning the truth about Santa came from Pam Garfield (yes,
I'm going to tell this story, Pam). Pam, her husband, and their son Danny had moved into a
predominantly Christian neighborhood (the Garfields are Jewish). When Christmas rolled around,
Danny felt left out. He wanted Christmas, whether it was part of his religion or not. So, Pam,
the great mom she is, tried to give him Christmas. She had to watch the Little House on the
Prarie Christmas episode to get ideas what was expected of her for 'creating' the perfect
Christmas. Everything went smoothly until Danny wanted to know why they weren't putting up
outside lights and decorations, and Pam said that it was not part of their faith to do that.
This got Danny thinking, and he asked if that meant there wasn't a Santa Claus, and Pam
reluctantly admitted that there was not. Danny, the disallusioned six year old, punched his
mom in the stomach. Hey! I didn't say it was a waffy story! [g] It did make me understand
why Lois slapped Clark in Tempis Fugitive though. ;)
>It ranks up there with "Full House" and "Baywatch" as some of the best TV has to offer.
Snort! I'm sorry to break in here, but I had to tell Chuck he's just given me my biggest laugh of the day. Let me just try to read that last sentence again . . . .
>It ranks up there with "Full House" and "Baywatch" as some of the best TV has to offer.
Nope. Still funny. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha . . .
I LOVE TERI'S HAIR! Do not all of us realize by now that this woman could shave her head
BALD and look FANTASTIC?
Uh . . . . No. Sorry.
It's Scardino I hate, of course. Why? Why? Need you ask why? A man who is most attractive when being beaten by a plunger, and you ask why? [g]
I feel that I should say something deep and L&C-related, so: Has anyone else noticed in HiM that Lois slept in a nightgown when Clark wasn't there and (seemingly) naked when he was? That little tease! [vbg]
Superman is the powers of Kal-El; Ali is the powers of Genie
(Robin, we love ya' big guy :). Clark is the person, the reality; Aladdin is the
person, the reality. SM and Ali are both what they can do, while CK and A
are both who they are. Both have jet black hair. It's all coming together
now! Wait! Now, just wait a second! It's A Small World After All! The
Disney song! Aladdin is Disney! Perry is obsessed with Elvis! There are
rumors of Elvis being alive. Elvis was a famous man. Walt Disney was a
famous man. The connection of Disney already made to the Show, it's an
obvious connection to make: a connection that Walt faked his death, and
is still alive!!!!!!!!!!!! It's all coming together! Walt is alive and
well, and is secretly making an animated series in which Dean and Teri will
do the lead-voices! I can't believe I never saw it before. It's so obvious.
Don't you think? [FoLC from the audience hands bullfrog a folded note] "Oh!
Thank you!" [bullfrog reads] "'There are some nice men in white
jackets to
take you away. Very nice men.' Well, isn't that sweet!" ;)
Seriously, I did think the Aladdin-Show connection was interesting.
Seriously, I'll go now ;)
Seriously, aren't you sorry I came back? ;) ;) ;)
Here they are, the top ten things you wouldn't catch Clark Kent saying....
#4. "I'm, too sexy for my cape, too sexy for my cape...."
#1. "I am Superman, hear me roar!"
Who in the dickens thought up Ching? He sounds like a cash register.
I finally hit upon who Tenney was reminding me of in the episode. It was a combination of the scene where he's in the room with the two TV monitors, where his eyeballs dart back and forth, and his eyebrows lift up and down rather mechanically and when he and Zara do their wobbly takes offs. He reminded me of Steve Zodiac from Fireball XL5!! Okay, for those of you under 100 years old, that was a show filmed in something called 'supermarionation' in the mid-sixties. They were like marionettes, and had articulated eyes, eyebrows and mouths, and had very detailed but rather chistled features, and sometimes, well, they were wobbly [g]
It's like catching yourself saying all those corny things your parents would throw at you . . . On a complete tangent . . . having nothing to do with L&C . . . my mother used to say to me, "Everything happens to you and Dick Tracy." As a kid that used to throw me . . . Did everything happen to Dick Tracy??? I don't know. Certainly, I couldn't imagine similar things happening to me and Dick Tracy . . . Hmmm.
Also, Dean needs to find a new story about the "commercial" scene. I heard the one about 6 guys and chips at a party about 432 times. BUT . . . I still love him :^)
Well, you know, it sometimes seems to me that acting (and working for
Mitsubishi Clark Bars are (or used to be) made in Pittsburgh, PA. Last fall the
Clark Candy Company started making a round candy, with nuts and caramel or
something like that. Anyway, they called it "Buns." The reason I'm posting
is that they had a huge billboard on one of the major arteries for months.
I'm really sorry I never took a picture of this billboard. It read: "Take
a look at Clark's Buns!" No joke (actually, I laughed the rest of the way home).
Finally Lois and Clark sleep together!!! Well, okay, one of them was in a coma, and Lois'
dad was watching, but we're making progress! ;)
You remind me of my sister. She actually whistles in the morning. :P Zoomway (who
can't even wave 'bye-bye' in the morning :)
OK, my father would be concerned in general if he saw me spending time with any sort of
man in tights.
I would be sitting, thinking to myself, "does Clark think being Superman is like a job,
or does he think that being Clark is like a kind of vacation?" and then I'd go post that. And
then the fifty or sixty people on the list would giggle their butts off. And then they'd
respond.
I agree that CK has gone through many character changes, but I stick by my belief that, even
with such variations in character, he would still most likely not react like -- CK: "Yeah,
right Lois! You're a virgin! Ha ha! And I'm the Pope!"
Crazy people are just that way, one minute they seem fine the next . . . they're selling
you rubber lips.
These were worse than my nightmares of being Lex Luthor's wife, and when the world was
ending and I woke up screaming, "We don't serve blended drinks here, get your own damn coffee!!"
I'm serious.
Nothing like Batman asking Robin to drink his milk and buckle his seatbelt in the Batmobile
before leaving the Batcave anyway. [G]
When you're right, you're right, Duane. A woman inviting a man to a secluded mountain
cabin for a three day weekend probably had nothing more planned for them than to put on
some hip waders and teach Clark the finer points of fly casting.
That's what the listserv used to be, and I hope we find our sense of humor again, because I
liked nothing better than the time I hit Duane in the face with a shovel to put out the
flaming road map attached to his forehead (uh . . . you had to be there :)
Remember the cute ice cream metaphor between Lois and Sarah in TJO? Well, in the original,
it was a boat metaphor (I hear women all the time doing boat metaphors :P)
I received a package of scripts of Lois and Clark episodes from some mysterious benefactor
(perhaps a convict I brought a hacksaw and twinkies to in my childhood).
Clark was a rowboat, slow and safe, and Dan was a speedboat, sleek and dangerous (hurl alert
part 2) Lois tells Sarah she's really good, thus agreeing with the metaphor. I know she didn't
say, "I'd sure miss my rowboat if I couldn't have it".
I mean, haven't you ever rehearsed in your head what you were going to tell someone, and
much to your displeasure, they didn't co-operate? [g]
>A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a duck on his head, and . . .
This argument doesn't hold water, Jeff. I have a stove that I never use and no one
has ever accused me of being normal. :)
Jeff -- (who was 'normal' while single and didn't own a microwave, but eventually learned
what a microwave was! :-) "It's that . . . thingy that you sit your book on top of, before
you go out to eat." :-)
L&C isn't about explaining viruses, it's about the relationship between Lois and Clark.
That's why it's called Lois and Clark, not Science and Technology: The Dull Adventures of
Superman. :)
Jeff: Beer? You had beer?! The closest we had was when it rained and and sat for about
a week, then we drank the stagnant water in hopes of an intoxicating feeling.
Well, I've yet to see a folc who isn't disgruntled by these rumors, and we can't all have
PMS! Statistically, you'd think only 1/4 of the female folc would have PMS any given week.
:-)
I shall type the next paragraph at a breakneck superhuman speed, a feat that clearly
requires superpowers: Here I go! Oh my God! This is amazing. I'm actually typing
this faster than any mere human has every typed before. This is a historical moment
in typing. Wooo! Losing control! #)&$& Aaaaaaah! ?a=p"dx393jd9dkda Help me! Superman!
Help!
AND is Clark circumcised? That is another biggy.
Jeez, I can't imagine anyone else telling another full grown man a bedtime story and
giving him a piggyback ride while keeping a straight face. :)
(it's nice to know that Suen exists in both universes, because his Borneo statue is
still there :))
Mayson "I don't need a car alarm" Drake. [eg]
We've secretly replaced Clark Kent's usual fiancée with New Folgers Crystals. Let's
see if he notices.
"Why must violence always be the answer?" Because "How do we get rid of Mayson Drake?" was
the question.
If I'm wrong, don't kill me. :)
We all know Lois gets zapped by an electrical zap gizmo during wedding #2
right? What if the electrical discharge disrupted her neurons and
created . . . gasp . . . another bout of amnesia?
Heh . . . heh . . . heh . . . heh . . . heh . . . [beg]
(what every happened to the wonderful wavy brown silky hair that he used to
have . . . it's all sitting in some dump somewhere!!! Quick, the location!!!
[g])
Every time I catch myself leaning toward a discussion of Jung vs.
Freud or some such topic, it takes every effort to force myself back
into a "How does Dean's butt look in spandex?" chat.
I DON'T e-m-p-h-a-s-i-z-e "my" words! WHERE 'did' you get
that impression?! :):):)
>Their sun is actually 'chartruse' and, as we know,
That's great Jeff, very humourous.
My favorite line in the magazine -- not in JLC's article --
was the "statement" featured next to the photo on "Beauty Talk." The
actress they were interviewing says, "I never wore makeup until I was 30,
and then it was 'Ohmigod! I still don't know how to put on lip liner or
do my eyebrows.'"
I just watched Vatman and it gave me a thought (Vatman: "Here, Ben; here's
a thought." Ben: "Why, thank you, Vatman!").
As gloomy as I get, I can seen one of two things: When
the door closes behind Zara and Kal, Kal will look her right in the face and
say "I have to go to the bathroom"--NO! He'll say
Hair Apparent of LOISCLA, cross me, and there'll be hell
toupee ;)
Why did you put, "But seriously?" You're not serious about playing
cowboy with Dean? Step out of the way, sister!!!
Lois Lane has, on her desk - a photograph. Umm Hmm. One which we ALL saw
in tonight's episode right? (If you didn't see it go back and rewind your
VCR and take a good look when she is showing the sleazy guy that photo of
her and Clark...) Weeellll, if you get to look at it, you'll notice that it
is a LOVELY photo taken of her, in Clark's arms as he carried her over the
threshold of "our first house" in "ORDINARY PEOPLE". That's sweet right?
Yeah, its sweet. Nice, romantic secluded . . . no, make that DESERTED beach on a
tropical island . . . WAIT, did I say deserted? Well I meant except for the
schmuck with the camera who obviously took their picture in the 'hut' and
later sold it to Lois before his head was lopped off and his body used for
an insane criminal experiment . . . OKAY, maybe the tiger had a hobby. It
could happen.
I think Lois picked up the same six leaves at least three times. ;)
FLAMES ~ There is nothing you can say that won't offend somebody: It's a
bright, sunny day today.
(what if "super" wasn't the first word that popped into
Lois's head? Would we have Lois and Clark The New Adventures of
Sensualman . . . Sumptuousman . . . Sexyman . . . :)
I read somewhere that some people sneeze when they're exposed to sunlight
(Clark had just gotten out of a cab into the sun), and others sneeze when they're
sexually excited (Clark was with Lois ;).
When I was 16 I was a prevert. When I turned 21 I was considered a pervert
and when I turned 30, I was considered a provert. Why provert? Because I'm
good at it! BWAHH HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lois and Clark should be shown in a bubble bath, so we adults get to see what
we want and the kiddies just see Lois and Clark getting clean! (God I love irony!)
Don't call these fine gentle-women "chicks", I mean how would you like it if
they talked about men that wa . . . oh, never mind [g] And yes, I'm behind with my
e-mails.
(Wouldn't you be sad if you had looked forward to L&C to top off a bday,
and now find out that it's just NOT gonna happen? [sniff] I'll have to
just rewatch some old eps, and act really surprised when they end . . . )
Unlike a convention, however, there is no profit motive here,
and Dean and Teri won't be in a booth selling kisses (oh man ;) to help us
out. We can't even have a cyber bake sale [g]
This has actually been the consensus elsewhere in cyberspace. Female and Male
fans wanting a lot more heat and passion from Lois and Clark. Gee, I'm happy
to agree for once ;) When Lois told Clark he had a special dessert coming, he
shouldn't have just politely said "ooh" he should have grabbed her
passionately, growled against her neck and begged for dessert on the spot,
or, when Clark tells Lois that some places she rates five starts, she should
have knocked the glasses off his face and had her way with him right there on
the floor of 348 Hyperion Ave. ;)
I guess that's why they gave Lois and Clark reading material while they were
on the sofa together so that there would be no temptation to have one stacked
on top of the other dozing in front of the fireplace, but that's what I would
rather have seen! Why waste that great onscreen chemistry? That sofa scene
is so awkward that Dean doesn't know what to do with his other arm, so he
wraps it around himself! Bleh :P Teri is married, and Dean has been in
relationships, they at least could clue in a writer or director [g] Even if
their personal love lifes aren't that hot, they could at least remember how
it feels ;)
Ah, speaking of which, remember Double Jeopardy (I
know, how could anyone forget ;) Clark thinks that Lois is asking for a
Superman fantasy when "Clois" is clueless and is simply asking for Superman
to put in an appearance. Clark is so accommodating, he's downright
. . . naughty ;) He says, "You want Superman?" and Clois rather sexily says, "I
sure do" and Clark smiles and then he too takes on a sexy tone, "Well, I
think that can be arranged. Let me just see if I can find him." and whoosh,
he's Superman kind of leering down at the reclining Clois.
Debby,
I was cornered in the laundry room of my apt. building last Sunday.
And, you thought the Prankster only operated in Metropolis!
And I told them this would happen with that frog sucking fakeo wedding
junk!!!!But did they listen NO!!!! Twits . . .
I'm having a
little trouble typing accurately tonight and as I was saving it to my
desktop and renaming it I typed Lex instead of Sex . . . What does that
mean! (certainly that I do not have the hots for Lex!)
Well. I refuse to eat a frog.
The first thing I said was "Why didn't she scream?" I mean come on! Her foot
slipped (scream #1) and then she fell three stories (really long scream #2, all
the way down). I scream, or at least gasp, when I slip off the curb! :-)
This is so you can get Lois's POV and Clark's POV. Film the scene entirely
over Teri's shoulder, then film the scene entirely of Dean's shoulder,
(the only girl at school who finds Mickey Mouse scary . . . come on
who really laughs like that:)
The only thing I noticed about this scene was the tire tracks leading off the
cliff prior to Lois' Jeep actually going over it. It is a view from inside
the Jeep and you can see the tracks. Things like that don't bother me. I
know it is just a tv show and they have to edit it and all. I just noticed
it and thought it was funny. Wonder who else has driven off that cliff?
Maybe Lois was just following the traffic pattern [g].
As Lois was telling Alternate Clark (AC) that "If Clark can't be found in
the next 24 hours . . . " he'd be lost forever, not only was I trying to
remember when she had been told this (maybe off camera, by Tempus--as though
he would know--just to torment her--maybe he lied?), I was beginning to
wonder why Lois and AC were just standing or sitting around moping and
trying to keep their hands off each other.
Dean just can't eat Dingdongs and have a bod like that, can he? I must see
this for myself. I demand a personal inspection . . .
She has a brain, she figured out the phone thing, but then AltCK topped her
by becoming a phone receiver, the speaker part, with his amazing vibrating
hand.
To Bob, Annemarie, Eileen and all our other lawyers out there - what I want
to know is, what's so horrible about pocket lint? I mean, it's a fairly
innocuous item; I'm sure anyone who has or does wash is familiar with it, it
doesn't hurt anybody - it just seemed kinda lame as an insult to me, with or
without being connected to lawyers . . . and as even I have been known to
consort with lawyers from time to time (but only when going to plays or
staying at fests) [g], I refuse to address that part of the equation at all!
Who can forget the debate over the meaning of flowers; or the ongoing
drooling over Clark's outrageous ties? (Well, we really drooled over
a shirtless Clark, but that would make us shallow, wouldn't it? ;-)
>I mentioned to Bullfrog Ben the other day that
Hah! I caught you on a fib, Regina! I never got any email from you that
mentioned anything of the sort! Never! Why, the very idea is just utterly
ridicu-- Oh, wait. I did get an email from you about this. That's right.
Never mind.
I've heard they're kinda like Santa: they know, Regina. They know,
everyone! They read your nfics when you're sleeping!
I have this bizarre fond spot for paddle ball, I never could get the things
to work, but one of the funniest Dick Van Dyke Show episodes had "Rob" up at
a mountain cabin wanting to write his "great American novel", but he gets
bored, and so he looks around the capin and finds a holster with two
Peacemaker Colts. He picks up one of the revolvers and tries fanning the
hammer like he's seen in Westerns, but that only injures his hand. He then
finds a paddle ball (and Van Dyke is really quite good with the dadgum thing)
He also starts talking to himself because he's bored. Then a guy knocks on
the door who was bringing up fire wood, and asks who he's talking to, Rob
says nobody, just that it's boring and lonely and a guy could go crazy all
alone. At this point the man takes in the whole "effect" of Rob wearing a
cowboy hat, holsters, revolvers, and a paddle ball tucked into the gun belt.
Then Rob asks him to stay so they can talk. The guy says okay, but that he'll
get a jug of cider out of his car. Once the man leaves to get the cider, Rob
is almost deliriously happy. He starts playing paddle ball saying, "Oh boy!
We've got company!" Then he pauses a moment and says, "I wonder if I overdid
that?" Then you hear a car screeching away. "Yep, I overdid that."
"You know what pasta does to me." Clark Kent to Lois Lane in AKA Superman
Jimmy's face DOES kind of look like Superman (though Clark bears a closer resemblance).
>in rainy Albuquerque where I find it odd that cats like to go out in
Isn't that odd. One of my cats likes to stick his head in the shower. I
always thought it was because he really admired the way I look; but now,
I'm beginning to think he just wants to end it all (which may very well
bear some relationship to the veracity of my first supposition).
"Faster than a speeding barb! More powerful than a poison pen letter!
Able to leap a Hollywood screenwriter in a single bound!" (Now there's a
thought. Hubba! Hubba!)
If CK hadn't fallen in love with anyone x time (say, a week) after arriving
in Metropolis, would he have failed to ask his folks to help him come up
with a disguise? If he hadn't fallen in love, would he have failed to notice
the messy complicated world? If he hadn't fallen in love, would he have
accepted a job at the local Walmart as a greeter with aspirations of making
it to shelf stocker and check out clerk?
"Allons y" (pronounced allon-zee) is a French phrase and it means "Let's
go." A LONG time ago, way before Lent, my family and I were going out, and
I, taking French at the time, was saying, "Allons y, allons y, allons y..."
over and over (I'm not a very patient person! ;). And I noticed that if you
say it fast enough, and repeat it enough, it doesn't sound like "allon-zee"
anymore. Watch:
My dad killed the mood THREE times. I'll go from least disasterous to most
disasterous.
(at least no one sung the song that was sung at my birthday,
"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, compared to a fossil, you're
almost brand new" ;)
Lois sees the clone of Superman not
behaving like Superman, and says so, and yet he sends a little apology note
to Lois, and she falls for it, and she falls for it again when he shows up at
the Daily Planet and says he's the real deal of steel and needs her help, and
she just flies off with him. See, if Clois gave Clark an apology note,
wouldn't you feel a ton better? [g]
Oh well, considering the fabulously wealthy guy jumping to
his death in TTNBM, I've begun to think the fabulously wealthy of Metropolis
like the feel of the wind in their face on their way to eternity [g]
In homage to Tempus, God of Irony, the largest food order of the night
went to the smallest person at the table: Mimi, who was in seat 5. In a
place where you 'pay by the pound', her order came to $18. $6 more than me
and $3.50 more than her nearest rival. And before you ask, I didn't refer
to her as Bobby Bigmouth. [g]
The dinner entertainment was provided by the gentlemen in seats 4 and 8.
They proceeded to drink their bottomless glasses of Coke at alternating
rates in order to keep the waitress moving. The plan called for Preston
[#4] to drink all of his coke while Kim, our waitress, was getting a refill
for Ackerman [#8] (no one calls him by his first name . . . I have no idea why
;). Preston would then ask for a refill and Ackerman would down his
coke. Kim caught on to what was happening and brought a pitcher of Coke to
the table, which was quickly passed around to the others at the table in an
attempt to get the cycle going again, this time with the pitcher. So long as Mr urban-caveman never screams "Sing for me my
Angel of Music!!" to Lois Lane when he's got her tied to a chair in the
following episode -- I should be fine ;)
Anyway, as we started watching, the conversation between me and my dad
was:
-- Speaking of birth control, is there anybody who ever needed that high
school lecture more than Lex Luthor! What a busy beaver he's been.
-- And, speaking of prudent, I can't wait to see how "Superman" is
going to explain to Dr. Klein why he needs to know about his ability to
sire children with an Earth woman. "Uh . . . Dr. Klein . . . purely on the
theoretical plane . . . would you hypothesize . . . I mean, considering all
those Kryptonian soldiers who were running around not too long ago . . .
would you say . . . that . . . uh . . . oh . . . gosh darn it! I've got a
girlfriend, and she's been making demands!" (Frankly, I have always
thought that there wouldn't be much out on the market which could prevent
Clark from impregnating Lois if he could. Most methods can't even stop
human males 100% of the time, so Clark's little guys should be having no
problem marching through Georgia . . . But, can they get to the sea . . . )
Going in order, I should mention the brief, but
indellible appearance of one Spencer Spencer (Lover Fortress Intl :) who
doesn't really count except that he confined poor Lois to a chair and said
"YOU can be my love slave" . . . an interesting offer . . . maybe if he'd at least
offered her the million dollars Demi Moore got with her deal in "Indecent
Proposal" . . . as it was, I'd have to stand behind her uttered "Kill me" [g]
>Oh my God! What a despicable idea! Truly reprehensible! Whoever this
[g] Oh um . . . you should see her with the cutlery . . .
We'll just take that pitchfork away now . . .
He
aparently thought of nothing else for years and finally made his way to
Metropolis (as all criminal maniacs eventually must) to find her and
sacrifice her to his gods. (We know how that is ladies eh? Every couple of
weeks some new guy thinks he can offer you up to the immortals and you gotta
set him straight -- it usually only takes one or two whacks across the head
with a baseball bat though. "Piece of cake!" ;)
We get to spend two episodes following his hated
butt around while Lois Lane drools on his shoes, but its O-KAY because in
the end, she really does get a good Whack at the guy. (I told you
ladies..thats all it usually takes =o) Buh Buy Maxy! Come back and see us
again real soon . . . (heh)
(I think she has "Take me,
I'm every sociopaths fantasy!" stamped to her forehead this time [g])
At first, I thought the actress who played Vixen was rather wooden. When I
found out she was an android it all made perfect sense, and now I think she
did a very nice job!
You see, there is no known criteria for how the test would come out
if impregnated by an alien (says so right on the box! ;-)
And... to answer those with questions about latex protection working
on CK, do I have to remind you all that (to loosely quote SM/CK):
"My aura extends beyond my suit [or condom] by a few millimeters,
thus protecting anything within that range." I'd venture a guess that a
condom falls within that range of 'a few millimeters.' If not, someone
had better give CK lessons on "proper wearing of a condom." ;-)
>You're right, if the human is impregnated by another human,
>but . . . the fun is in visualizing all the scenarios of a human
>impregnated by an alien. Ok, jeez, do I have to write a 'fanfic'
>to explain how it could happen?! ;-)
**NO** !! I mean---that wouldn't be necessary. I mean--wouldn't want to put
you out Jeff, knowing how busy you are and all . . . you wouldn't need to.
Honestly. Don't give it another thought [g]
In truth, the PTB don't post often, but you're right, when they do, it should
be shared by all fans. There was even a frivolous, but very funny thread
there not long ago where someone heard a rumor that Tim Minear was really
Dean Cain. That led to many posts of a kidding nature, and the fact, that for
whatever reason, Grant Rosenberg, when asked "what is Teri's signon name?"
said "Zoomway" I never thanked him for all the e-mails on that one :P
And Les does have to live in an actual house/apartment/condo/etc. He's
a millionaire (billionaire?) who just bought one of the largest papers
in the country. Eyes would be on him and there would be quite a
mystery if no one knew where he lived. "Following this man to learn
where he hangs his hat, this reporter watch him park his limo and
enter through a sewage-drain into the underworld I found no
mailbox."
TO POSSESS LOIS LANE AND DESTROY SUPERMAN. [Sigh]
>Admit it, you wanted to ask her out, didn't you? ;-)
You see, I won't be on this world for long. Yes,
yes, it's true! Another . . . oh, seventy years or so, and there will be no
more Bullfrog. I know, it's tragic. I don't know how everyone will get on
without me! So I think the World deserves as much of me as it can get for
the brief time I'll be here! "General, his ego is raging out of control!"
"Shoot it down, soldier." "Yes sir! . . . SIR! The shells aren't even
penetrating the force sheild around Smallville!" [ego and his compatriots,
eggo and leggo come and land by the soldiers] "We warned you not to
attack!" [the army is destroyed] Uuuuuuuummmmmmmmm . . . moving on . . . ;)
So, I don't think there's really
that much to link him to Lex. Well, unless you count the tatoo he has on
his left shoulder that says, "I was Lex's love child!" But, I mean, even
that . . .
Does he have time between
bush-trimmings and assassins-hiring and robot-building to get a second job,
though? ;)
"You
are my cyborg, my only cyborg. You make me happy when skies are grey." ;) I
just think you know a BIT too much about the big V not to have some
connection with her.
>How many people thought it was her hand in the sewer grate, just for a
brief moment?
>Can't say that you've changed my mind.
C'mon! Just say it! You don't have to mean it! ;)
Personally, I think that really gets over-used on TV. You hit someone in
the face, the blood trickles from the corner of the mouth. You slap
someone's face, blood, corner of the mouth. You flick someone's ear, blood,
corner mouth. You pat someone on the back, blood, mouth. You sneeze within
five miles, blood . . . well, you get the idea ;)
HAH HAH! I haven't read anything about the boo-boo they made when we first
saw through Lois' eyes. If you'll remember, Lois was getting her lunch
together: a sandwich and some pretzels. Lois selects a pretzel and eats it.
This one shot revealed something drastically new about Lois' anatomy: Lois
has a mouth in her FOREHEAD!!!!! AH!!!!!! She's a freak just like Lex
Jr!!!!!!! ;)
Oh . . . that reminds me of a kinky comment I made about Dean Cain at supper one
night back at college . . . but . . . um . . . I can't remember what the comment
WAS . . . I just remember that we were eating Superman ice cream . . .
And ROTFL when we suddenly saw the phone booth shaking and Woody
coming out dressed as Supes with Clark's clothes in a bag - guess he
doesn't know where Clark puts them either [g]
Reminds me of the George Reeves one where he stands proudly as the bullets
bounce of his chest and then ducks when the bad guy throws the empty gun at
him. :-)
Clark has good taste in homes as well as women;)
I was babysitting my nephew who was about 8
months old at the time. My husband (well future husband) felt I was dragging
my feet about getting married, so he told his boss he was leaving at
lunchtime and wouldn't be back the rest of the day, because he was getting
married. He came to my house and said "We're getting married" I said "Now?"
(clever with words, eh? ;) He said "yeah" and I said I was babysitting, he
said to bring my nephew along, because he couldn't wait one more day. Well,
since he sounded like he was going to explode, I grabbed up my nephew and
headed for the courthouse with him. We found a Justice of the Peace who was
in bluejeans, had a huge belt buckle, was wearing cowboy boots, and on his
office wall there was the front half of a taxidermied bobcat leaping out, and
he had a tarantula paperweight. Of course my future husband and I looked like
we "had" to get married since I was there holding a baby [g] Anyway, the JP
told us to hold hands, and he'd hold the baby. He read from the Bible, but I
don't remember anything but my soon-to-be husband and I trying not to laugh,
because my nephew found something amusing about the JP since he kept giggling
and kicking out his leg happily (uh, my nephew, not the JP). The JP said
"Look, he dances with his left leg, he must be a Baptist." Like I said
before, I had no idea what that meant, but it made me laugh. That was my
wedding, and though not romantic, I guess something stuck, because I still
love the guy fifteen years later, and he brings me little gifts for no
particular reason. (got a cute sheriff's badge with the Superman logo in it a
couple of weeks ago . . . okay . . . it's not flowers, but he knows what I love ;)
No, no, no, no!! Run with it! Now Zoomie, you of all people must find it
hard to believe that Klein is as absent minded as he appears to be! What
could the solution be? Here's what it is, and what it has to be: A vessel,
utterly destroyed en route to New Krypton, floated and hurled through the
galaxy until it crashed on Earth. A young country doctor found the vessel
and its dead occupants. The doctor's name? Klein! Now, Klein happens to be
a veteranarian, with a few monkies in his care at the moment. Under cover
of darkness, he transports the dead aliens to his office and, over the next
year, is able to create a human-like creature from the DNA of the
Kryptonians and the monkies. He found the globe aboard the vessel, found an
ATM (Alien Telecommunication Module) card in the wallet of one of the
aliens (who had, in a moment of ultimate stupidity, written its PIN number
on the card itself [sigh] will they never learn?), and used it to gain
access to the globe's stored information. With it, he became a genius. But
he wanted more! A virus had been planted within the globe, and was
triggered if any but a Kryptonian tampered with it. It rewrote Klein's
hardware and made him desperate for power! And so he worked out his plan:
Having found a substance within the vessel that gave him eternal-life, he
had no need to fear time. He took the baby he had created and placed it in
a cheap prop from a very cheap sci-fi film. He knew of a family that would
care for it (the baby, not the ship): the Kents! And so he fired the sucker
at their house! It worked. They took it in and cared for the baby (who ate
a surprising ammount of bananas, for some reason!). The next stage of his
plan was to infiltrate a high level of goverment, and so he worked his way
into STAR Labs, careful to disguise his genius in the event that any might
draw attention to him, which he did not want. Over the years, his plan
unraveled. Clark grew up and moved to Metropolis (the true underlying
reason for which being he saw King Kong as a child, and had the base and
powerful desire to visit the Empire State Building and get back to his
roots - in New York, you see). And that is when Klein became most devious:
Using a broadcaster that would control peoples' minds, the doctor made sure
no one would ever suspect that Clark Kent was indeed Superman! Ah, the
humanity of it all! And so the groundwork was set in place! Klein's 'son'
was a powerful figure now, and through him, when the time was right, Klein
would own Metropolis! Luther was but a pawn in comparison! And then, when
the time was ripe, the Doctor would own the WORLD!!
Ummmm . . . but you didn't hear it from me, okay?
You can also
speak while you're laughing, yawning or moaning (kersplash! ;) "I love you,
Lois," Clark ejaculated. See, that's possible too <g> (I told you I'd get to
it in a minute ;)
>You grin
Websters New World dictionary: "grin": to smile broadly, showing the teeth.
Yup, when Dean was grinning, he was showing his teeth, and he was speaking.
The definition doesn't say a darn thing about the teeth being welded shut.
Case closed <g>
>For instance, I'll read a story that uses commas instead of periods
I'd write back and say "Yes, have you heard the one about the guy who walks
into a bar with a duck on his head?" ;)
>I agree with Leanne except for 2 points...you certainly can get and hold a
Yeah, but he was also a genius :)
>Combo post on grammar: Demi, honey, you can skip this :)
Thanks Leanne! :)
See guys? (Those of you who wrote to me privately, especially). ;) It's
really that simple, yammer loudly at people long enough and they may
realize you're a mad-woman, <g> but they *will* start to let you know
personally which posts you don't need to read. It's like programmable
e-mail filtering, only FREE! <bg>
As to Mindy McCready being a phony, no idea, but she was certainly
Sometimes Teri's real wedding band, which she wore on her right hand while Re: cloning celebrities pets' DNA for their fans use
It's always wise to keep an open mind with gossip items. On the other hand, if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, chances are we are looking at a post by a duck who has indeed waddled with the parties of whom he quacks.
>Please don't hit me...that I confuse episode and reality...
Excuse me...is this not the definition of FoLC?
Well, it's my theory that the citizens of Smallville either 1) are blind as bats and dumb as posts or 2) have figured it all out years ago and are too polite to say anything about it.
Couldn't bring myself to watch Wimbledon. Wouldn't that be cheating on L&C or something? The lure of a sweaty Anna Kournikova grunting loudly while gripping a racket was appealing, but instead I decided to enjoy sleeping late. Now if she were to play naked...
>Jimmy is weird.
You think so too?
>I just wanted to thank everyone who has made such nice comments about my long-winded report.
If we apply Einstein's theory of relativity to your comment: reading an 8 paragraph political speech is long winded. Reading an 8 paragraph description of your Dean encounter is merely a gasp! It most definitely was not longwinded!
>I'm really bad with remembering the order of events--and worse with names,
Ack! To think there is even the slightest, remotest, miniscule portion of a chance that Dean says *my* name on a regular basis ... palpitations, heart-fluttering ... ack!
I've decided that it's his Ripley's uniform--like Superman's red & blue suit. You wouldn't expect Supes to change into something different every week, would you? <g>
Fortunately, the Daily Planet elevator, which saw more action than Motel 6 once Lois and Clark fell in love, served as a brief getaway ... especially considering the convenient "stop" button
Lois served as a bemused barricade as her fiance menaced Perry and Jimmy with a rubber band. It was charming moments like this that secured Clark Kent's disguise far more than the glasses. Seriously, what causal observer would believe Superman, the most powerful being on the planet, would have so much fun shooting rubber bands at his boss and coworker?
A little bird told me this was probably the home the Cain family lived in when Dean went off to university. On the other hand, you never know! If I lived in that neck of the woods I might take a drive up there some weekend. Who knows what treasures you can find when you're looking for .....
yard sales?
I don't know what 'menses' means in the blooper. I just thought Dean was being silly, and instead of saying, don't you shoot my boys, he said, "Don't you shoot my mens's" like, more than 1 man. On dictionary.com, the definition of menses is a woman's monthly cycle. I don't think that's what Dean meant.
>What is she holding?..
It's called a fan. :) People used to use them inside all the time before the days of air-conditioning. More often than not, you'd find them in the hymnal rack at church with the name of a local funeral home imprinted on them.
On page 14.. [of the 8/13/02 National Enquirer]
DJ (wishing that both Dean and Teri would be a good sports and fess up with some recent pictures of their children...preferably playing together )
If you do a search for the name Samantha Torres, you will be directed to any number of sites containing photographs of Miss Torres in various stages of undress. And if you look closely at the ones where she is in the complete stage of undress, you will note that her eyebrows and other bodily hair (do I have to spell it out? :D ) are quite dark
>On the other hand, if that bugaboo knows that Emmy is not his
Well, like most people, I'm guessing Jon likes to eat. And, keeping your wardrobe lined with cashmere can't be cheap either
As I was leaving work tonight, I thought to myself, "SELF!" Let's stop by the local Blockbuster and see if anything catches my eye! Imagine my surprise as I'm checking out the DVD's and see "Dark Descent" pop out at me! Needless to say, I snatched it off the shelf in a frenzy (in case any other Crazed Dean Fan happened to be standing beside me ready to pounce!).
I haven't yet decided whether or not it was better or worse than "Boa". I'm leaning towards better simply because he wasn't dressed up like an eskimo in this one!
>I also thought that "Mr. Smith" was an anonymous name the brother thought up.
Maybe he wanted to go to Washington
I mean, we all know that Dean is destined to marry me! It just happens that neither he, nor my husband know it yet!!!
>>When is a male ankle considered part of the female calf?
>amac, shince you posed the question, I kneed to know the answer.
Good one, Zimmo! And the answer is: when they're both trying to get a leg up.
If he asked you out (well, this *is* a fantasy board) would you really say "Only if you shave first, Dean"?
Anyway, this tale has no Superman, no Lois, but only Lex. Lex at HIS MOST EVIL! I don't mean evil as in, "I'm going to blow up the world! BWAHAHAHA!" This is so much more evil.
>What impressed me most about him was that he was brainy.
<snork> Yeah. That's what really draws the masses.
Most people don't yell at the top of their lungs while climaxing (you mean porn movies are faked?? GASP!
Ahhhh! I loved it! I loved her outfit (disturbing, eh?) in that dancing one. I loved the David Spade/Teri Hatcher skit...it was SO funny...and David Spade (he's forever going to be a llama to me) was SO funny when he was like, "I'm teri hatcher, I'm going to go post another nude photo of myself on the internet..." that was the BEST...I was laaaaughing soooo hard...
and then my power went out and I had nothing for twenty-eight hours. Talk about feeling Amish.
We were both flabbergasted at how much younger Dean looks in person than he does on the screen. He’s 37, but could easily pass for 25. Swear to God. We weren’t sure whether to kiss him later when he obliged our request for a picture, or take turns burping him over our shoulder. I have a 20 year old son, and felt a little like a pedophile.
Note: This is regarding an Elseworld comic summary where the situation has a 14-year old Lana persuading Superman to give her an "adult" kiss
Suddenly Superman discovered that Lana was frozen in place (maybe her tongue stopped moving).
Person One: I think the ice cream is just so he can distance himself from the "Scott persona".
Person One: a white shirt upon a red sweater.... uh.... he needs definitely a woman in his life for helping him to clothe [sic]
Pretty cool that Dean can juggle; he's got perfect hands for it.
Whoa! Hold on, is this a live duck, or a dead duck?
>A live duck. Anyway, he walks in . . .
Is this a full grown duck?
>Yes!!!! Ahem, anyway, this guy . . .
I hate to bring this up, but due to the nature and size of a ducks feet, and how far
apart they are set, a man's head would have to be approximately . . . hey!! Come back! I'm
not finished yet!
>No, but I am!
Zoomway (a guy walks into a psychiatrist's office, and has an unusually large
head . . . )
Zoom: Water? You had water?! We had to drink 'dry dirt' and walk 40 miles in
unforgiving swamps, with undrinkable water up to our eyeballs.
Jeff: Eyeballs? You had eyeballs?! :-)
NOW WE'RE GETTING DOWN TO THE REAL ISSUES!!!
>People who make big mistakes on this list don't get killed.
They get married.
To other FoLCs on the list.
Who are clones.
.
.
.
Just a friendly warning.
Have a nice day.
Your friend,
Debby
Reading and writing about shallow topics is harder than it looks and
should really be left to the professionals.
>chartruse goes well with Lois' skin tone. :-)
GRACIOUS! How does one get through the day.
"I can't do this, I love another . . . !"
Just as likely, however, Zara will say
"Sleep with you? Geesh! No, now's the only private time we have to
plan how to get rid of Nor!"
"You mean he's here in this room????"
"No, Kal . . . "
"Then what's Ching doing here?"
"Oh, remember, he's our body guard; he'll just sleep at the foot of the
bed."
Ching: "Yes, I'll be very quiet, too, unless you sound like you're, oh,
choking or something then I'll rush you to a hospital."
Zara: "See? He really cares about our wellbeing."
Kal: "Uh-huh . . . "
You filthy *@!?$, what have you got against Seattle?
who admires the show for getting this part right . . .
but not explaining it, say, in a simple sentence by
Clark: "It looks like the stuff affects me differently every time!"
Lois: "Whoa!"
so that noncomic readers (or rather, those who don't read comics;
they surely have a sense of humor . . . ) could understand.
Sounds like the opening line of a "sicko, psycho, sexual" thriller, but
there I was trying to hurry along the spin cycle by kicking the washing
machine when my neighbor came into the room, "noticed" me, and I was
cornered.
Neighbor: "You have inside connections."
Me (looking puzzled, but too busy practicing "mind" control on the
machine, to clearly focus on her): "What?"
Neighbor: "You have inside connections to 'Lois and Clark.'"
Me (not only looking puzzled but being puzzled): "I do?"
(Neighbor finally explains herself by reminding me that I told her I was
on an e-mail discussion list for this show . . . As we all know, the
leap from that minor piece of news to "inside connections" is a very,
great one, indeed. In fact, it's a chasm.)
Neighbor: "Can you ask them, who made the stupid decision to move
'Lois and Clark' to 7:00 p.m.?! I watch '60 Minutes' at 7:00! . . . I'm
making dinner. It's too inconvenient." (Neighbor is a 40-something,
single woman who is a tax preparer by trade.)
Me: "Well, the network did."
Neighbor: "It was stupid. It doesn't belong there."
Me: "I agree, but it will probably be moved to another day or time in
the future."
Neighbor: "They should move it to 10:00 p.m."
Me: "But it's supposed to be a family show."
Neighbor: "It's not. It's an adult fantasy . . . A guy like that in
tights [leer on face] . . . It's for adults."
Speaking of "sicko, psycho, sexual encounters" [eg], you've gotta hear
this one even if it isn't related to L&C. Some weeks ago, I arrived
home, went to the front desk of my apt. bldg. to collect my mail, and was
handed a very posh little shopping bag from Saks with my apt. number
written on it in magic marker . . . Looking quite surprised, I peeked in
and found . . . a bikini. That's right . . . a bikini. The desk attendant
tried to look nonchalant, but it was obviously hopeless.
"This isn't mine," I said.
"It has your apt. number on it," he insisted.
"Yes, but it's got to be a mistake. Did you see who left it?"
"No, it was here when I came in."
"Well, it's not mine . . . Ask whoever was at the desk earlier . . . I
didn't buy this, and I don't know anyone who would leave it for me."
He looked doubtful . . .
"Take it . . . I don't want it . . . It's probably for somebody else," I
said, pushing it toward him.
Well, days passed, and each time I went to pick up my mail, the bikini
was still at the desk, with my apt. number still clearly emblazoned
acrossed the bag. No one ever claimed that bikini, and for all I know,
the desk clerk's girlfriend is probably wearing it . . .
Sandy (in D.C.) -- Some neighborhood welcome wagons give fruit
baskets . . . Ours gives swimwear.
Even for Dean.
Unless he comes to my home to show me how to do it.
Then if he gets sick again, he can stay here.
Debby
who insists on having time to clean up first.
I'll even wash the cats.
>Y'know, this is the first time I've ever truly disagreed with you, Zoomie.
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but I cannot see the benefit of taking an entire
roll of film of Dean's shoulder. I just can't! Unless it was bare, what good would
that kind of shot be? ;) j/k
. . . AltLois should get a kick out of that! Nfanfic, anyone?
>I would go and see the new Superman movie even if Danny Devito
They read your fanfics when you're awake!
They know if you've twisted fantasies,
So write away for Peter's sake! ;)
These are from memory, so forgive my errors. I haven't read any comments on
the latest episode - hope I didn't step on anyone's punchline.
"I've Got a Crush on You" - Toni Taylor, armed with the fixings for lasagne,
visits Clark Kent, aka Charlie King [g], in his apartment. An incensed Lois
hides behind a screen. "Sounds delicious," says CK, and Lois mouths in
silent, sarcastic echo, "Delicious." Was she just angry at Clark for butting
into her story, or did she instinctively know that a pasta dinner for Clark
could lead to something interesting for dessert?
"Man of Steel Bars" - Lois to Superman: "It's pasta salad - I only know how
to make four things, and this is the only one without chocolate." If they'd
only had time to eat it - who knows what might have happened, but alas, a
train derailment derailed what could have been a memorable evening.
"Vatman" - Lois is in a frenzy of preparation for her date with "Superman."
She throws spaghetti at the ceiling and then tastes it. Ahh, al dente -
just right. When Vatman lunges for Lois on the sofa later - was it his
adolescent clonish urges or could it have been . . . pasta?
"Chip off the Old Clark" - Clark is cooking, Lois is watching. Is that
marinara sauce he's tasting. In just a moment, it's Lois tasting him, and
vice versa. Even a phone call doesn't break up the kiss. "I'm kinda busy
right now, Jimmy."
"It's a Small World After All" - Cajun lasagne ;) Perhaps if Clark had eaten
some, it would have delayed the shrinking process.
Okay, did I miss any, FoLCs? Who says this show has no continuity? [g]
Georgia (kinda gives a whole new meaning to the word 'canoodling', doesn't
it?)
>it . . . but don't necessarily like to be toweled off ("Mom! I went out
>specifically to get wet and track it on the bed!")
Allons y, allon zee, allon see, al an see, L N C, L&C...
Okay, I'm just weird . . . wired is more like it . . . ;)
A. When HG Wells and Lois were in the time machine near the end, and
they were flying towards Clark, I was just amazed at the special FX . . . until
my dad started singing the theme to Indiana Jones . . .
B. RIGHT at the end--and this may have biased my opinion on the
WAFFiness--when Clark says, "He's right. I am the luckiest guy in the
world," my dad added, "and you've got the greasiest hair in the world."
. . . thanks, Dad.
C. Now this just killed the whole thing. My dad--don't tell him I told
you this--was gassy that night, and I was watching the music montage thingy
that Lois has, and I was thinking, this is nice. This is . . . (sniff)
. . . WAFFy . . . (sniff) . . . "DAAAAD!!!!" I don't think I should let him watch
L&C with Marty and I again!
Me: "Implants."
Dad: "Wonderbra."
Me: "Nope. Definitely implants."
Dad: "Oh."
(this was of course in reference to Vixen's "chest area")
>is should be drummed from the list. Get your pitchforks and torches
>everyone. I'll lead the charge!
For a moment, I thought that they were just trying to rebuild
LexCorp. Isn't that enough for one or two men, even if they are
the son or sons of Lex Luthor? Instead their ultimate goal is
to possess Lois Lane and to destroy Superman. "Lex Luthor's
Ultimate Revenge" they called it. What loyalty this absentee
father has engendered? What ever happened to children who would
say, "I'm going to rebuild my father's empire, and be just as
powerful and feared as he was. BUT I'm not going to make his
mistake. I'll stay far away from Lois Lane and Superman?"
What do you mean, 'wanted?' Was she killed in the making of this film? ;)
That would be me!
>Think about it.
Uuummm . . .
>Time's up!;)
DOH!
MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
MWA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
>-- your mouth is closed --
>throughout their dialogue. (I'd probably send a note: "Great story -- but
>do you know about the comma vs. period rule?")
>job without being able to spell well, at all. Einstein was a horrible
>speller.
entertaining at times <g> She was booted from the Tim McGraw tour for being
"a prima donna". She filed for bankruptcy to get out of a contract. Though
the most entertaining moment during her relationship with Dean is when they
were both being interviewed on a radio station together and Dean slipped and
called Mindy "Teri" by mistake. Hey, those mistakes happen, and as long as
it never happened during a more ... intense moment, it was probably no big
deal ;)
episodes were filmed, would show up on her left hand. In Return of the Prankster,
as Kyle pushes her off the roof, the ring is on Teri's right hand, but when
she's caught by Superman, it's on her left hand. Ya gotta admire Lois playing
ring toss while she's plummeting to her death from a precipitous height. What
a spunky gal ;)
<snork!!> Forget about Bosko's DNA! How about Dean's!!!
>but I think it was about that time that Dean introduced the brown-haired
>girl as his publicist: Amy? Audrey? Andi?
Audrey
A woman who'd had her purse snatched in BevHills was giving her report to the police when when "Lois & Clark" star Dean Cain walked out of the Summit Rodeo Drive Hotel. "That's him!" The woman screamed, pointing at Dean. Cops made a beeline to nab the stunned actor-- until the woman yelled, "No, no, I mean that's Dean Cain. I love him!" Police backed off--and Dean even penned an autograph for the Lady.
Sorry, no picture.
>daughter (I'm sure if Emmy isn't he has noticed it already. And
>besides, it was at the time T & J could say they hadn't the
>best marriage) why aren't they already divorced?
Sorry, I know, it's "lame".
Person Two: Alleged wife murderers don't eat frozen dairy products?
Person One: I'm sure they do, but most likely in a bowl with a spoon. It's hard to visualize Hannibal Lector eating an ice cream cone with candy sprinkles.
Person Two: He probably can't make up his mind whether to wear the orange shirt or the white shirt. Orange or white. Heck, why not wear them both. It's quite a challenge to make the right choice, you know.
I find it amusing that he seems to have to have his mouth open to
balance the balls. I put on mascara the same way. <g>
This version of my Lois and Clark Miscellaneous page was born on June 16, 2002
Last Update: June 21, 2004